Time to Make a Fresh Start?

Hello Beautiful...

Have you ever heard this quote?

"Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around."  

This is a quote from Penelope Cruz in the movie Vanilla Sky.  It quote has stayed with me since the first time I heard it, years ago when that movie first came out.  

And honestly my friend, Every passing moment IS another chance to turn it all around!

If you stop to think about this for a minute, you know in your heart that it is absolutely true.  We are 100% capable of examining our lives and changing our habits and mindset any time we choose to do so.  "Not me", you say?  Well let me show you how.

Almost everything we do, every day of our lives comes from a choice we've made.  For example:

We choose to go to work.  Or not.

Choose to over eat.  Or not.

Choose to under eat.  Or not.

Choose to sleep in.  Or not.

Choose to stay up late.

Dress as though we do or do not care about how we look.

Choose to watch TV.

Surround ourselves with beautiful things.  

Surround ourselves with crap.

Choose to be happy.

Choose to do a good deed.  Or not.

Choose to over spend.

Everything we do as we move through every day is a choice.  And believe me when I tell you:  THIS IS GREAT NEWS!!!

Do you feel like you are living a life that is not quite up to what you desire?  Well, YOU get to change that!  Right now!

If your self confidence level isn't quite up to par, change it!  Dress better!  Put on some lipstick!  Get cute!  Read some news!  Learn something!  Clean something up!  Read something inspiring!  These are all things you can do immediately to improve your self confidence.  Every day, when you are getting ready to start your day, you are making these choices.  Why not make better ones?

This is how we create Beauty, Brains and Brilliance in our lives.  By making choices that lead us toward the life we desire.

Any given second, you can say, "I'm done being grumpy for today."  And find something that makes you smile or laugh.  Then practice feeling that happy feeling for the rest of the day.  Yes it takes practice, but it is so worth it!

Any given moment, you can say, "I don't want to be that person anymore." And begin to do things differently.  

Any given hour you can say. "I don't want to be the woman who over eats."  And you can decide to put off that snack for a while longer.

Any given day you can say, "I want to feel elegant from now on."  And you can begin planning the outfit and accessories and lipstick you want to wear tomorrow.

Any given week you can say, "Yes, I'm grateful for what I have, but this is not my dream job."  And quietly begin looking for something that lights you up!

Yes, these are just examples, but they are choices and decisions that you are making every day!  Good decisions or bad, whether they are on purpose decisions or subconscious decisions that you don't even realize you're making throughout your day.  You ARE making them.  

So now that the light bulb has gone on over that pretty little head of yours, don't you think it's time that you got into the Pilot's seat of your private jet and started mapping out your course, rather than living out of habit or default?  

Take the time to decide who you want to become.  Find 20 or 30 quiet, alone, uninterrupted minutes to contemplate this idea.  Once you know who and what you want to be, you can begin making daily choices that will guide you toward that place.  

In this day and age, and at our age, there is no reason for us to live an unfulfilled life!  We can be whomever, and do whatever we want to do!  So who are YOU going to be tomorrow?

Love,

Donna

PS.  Need a push to get you started?  Get these two books and you'll be well on your way!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/s/ref=is_s?k=donna+ferrante

And visit www.brilliancefactor.com

Let's work on this together!!!

1 Step to adding Beauty, Brains and Brilliance to your life. Part 3. BRILLIANCE!

1 Step to Adding Beauty, Brains and Brilliance to your life.  Part 3. Brilliance.

Do you FEEL LIKE being BRILLIANT today?  The reason I ask you this is to illustrate to you that being BRILLIANT on any given day or at any time of day, is 100% YOUR CHOICE.  

Every choice, every decision you make will create your day, and create the feelings you experience.    And those feelings will create your life!  So you must ask yourself this:  Will your thoughts create beautiful, empowering feelings?  Or will they create dull, negative, auto-pilot feelings?  And most importantly, what kind of life will those auto-pilot feelings bring you compared to the the life the empowering feelings will bring you?

Over the past 2 weeks we have discussed adding BEAUTY and BRAINS into your life, and we have found ways to do that by examining our behaviors and attitudes.  Hopefully you were able to choose something (or 10 things) that you could add to your life right away that result in BEAUTY.  And hopefully you have found several ways (or 5 ways) that you could use your beautiful BRAINS, as well!  

This week, we come to Part 3, which is where we talk about BRILLIANCE!   So let's dig in. 

The definition of BRILLIANCE is this:  "To shine brightly.  To act intelligently.  To utilize all of the facts available in order to make the best possible choices."  Does this sound like you?  If not, we have some work to do, my love!  Fun, glorious, empowering work!

In order to live your life with BRILLIANCE, there is only one step you must take.  And it is this:  TAKE ACTION!  Once you have narrowed down what it is that you want your life to look like, it is time to TAKE ACTION and make those things happen!

For example, you may have decided that you want to add BEAUTY by getting into shape!  You have used your BRAINS to decide that the best way to do that is to begin to work out.  The BRILLIANCE here is to TAKE ACTION by joining that gym, or scheduling time to begin running or walking. 

Another example, you may have decided that you want to add BEAUTY to your life by doing a better job of managing your finances.  (Been there!). You've used your BRAINS to get clear on what your expenses are and possibly even created a budget!  The BRILLIANCE here will be to stick to that budget!  Take action by scheduling a meeting with yourself once each week - or once each payday - to review your bills and expenses and spending habits to be sure you are on track.  

How about this:  You have decided to add BEAUTY to your life by paying more attention to how you look, how you present yourself each day.  You've used your BRAINS to clean out your closet, put outfits together and you've even gotten a makeup lesson!  The BRILLIANCE happens when you take action by making sure you allow yourself enough time each morning to get ready for your day!  

BRILLIANCE is all about showing up for yourself.  When you take the appropriate action to make the decisions you've made come to life, you are living brilliantly.  You are living your life on purpose.  You are designing your life and building it into what you truly desire.  

I remember a time, not too long ago, when I used my BEAUTY, BRAINS and BRILLIANCE in order to create something I truly wanted in my life.  I had made the decision to write my first book, which was a journal.  I had no idea where to start, but I was sure I wanted to do this.  So here is what I did:

BEAUTY:  I decided that creating this book was what I really wanted.  I wanted to write something and feel the sense of pride I knew I'd feel once I accomplished this!

BRAINS:  I needed to get in touch with someone I knew who had written several books.  She wasn't a close friend at the time, but I knew she'd help me.  I signed up for a class she was offering.  I invested the time and money in myself.  And boy, did I learn from her!!!

BRILLIANCE:  Once I learned what I needed to do, I took action and scheduled writing time into my planner.  I knew that if I scheduled the time, it would get done.  Then all I had to do was show up for myself at those scheduled times and the book would come to fruition.  

And it did. And was it perfect??  Absolutely not!  It was double the size I needed it to be!  As thick a book as Harry Potter!  But because I had gone through this process, I was able to go back through and rework it a little differently so it would come out to the perfect size!  

Yes.  There were days when I did not want to write, and in those days, I gave myself a break by not expecting too much progress.  I still sat down at my scheduled times and began writing.  Some of the challenging days resulted in 2 or 3 pages.  Other challenging days resulted in 50 pages.  But I SHOWED UP.  I TOOK ACTION!  And because In did that, I learned what I needed to know and I'm now working on my 6th book!

So tell me, what have you decided to do?  Have you begun to show up for yourself to begin to make it happen?  Do you need some help?  Well, I'm here for you.  

Love,

Donna

Just visit www.brilliancefactor.com or email me at thebrilliancefactor@gmail.com and We can talk about how we can work together to bring your dreams into fruition!

5 Steps to Adding Beauty, Brains and Brilliance to Your Life. Part 2 Brains!

Brains, baby!  That's what we're talking about today.  And I don't mean your IQ, either.  I'm talking about your awareness.  Your decision making ability.  Your environmental scan.  All of these things go into the discussion about BRAINS.

Are you willing to stop and THINK?  Many people just aren't willing to sit still for a few minutes and take the time to actually think about what they need, what they want and love.  These people are living their lives by default.  They are on Auto-Pilot, just going about their day moving mindlessly through tasks.  Going through the motions, not feeling much of anything.  Is this you?  No problem, my dear!  Perhaps it won't be you by the end of this post!  We can only hope!

When you take the time to use your beautiful brain, you will find that the world opens up for you.  Once you discover what you truly love, you can begin to bring those things, feelings, people and places into your life!  Sound good?  Let's get going.

The first step to using your brain is to recognize what is going on around you.  Pull yourself out of auto-pilot mode and pay attention!  Don't make any big changes right away. Give that computer in your head a few days to calculate what is happening in your life.  As you move through your day, pay attention to how you feel.  You might even want to pick up a journal to record how and what you are doing, as you begin to slow down and think!  You can get a kick-a** journal right here!  Write it all down!  What you are doing.  How you are feeling. Do you feel as though you are wasting time?  Do you LOVE what you're doing?  Do you HATE it?  How are you feeling in your surroundings?  Do you feel empowered?  Do you feel as though you are surrounded by beauty?  Comfort?  Keep track of all of it for at least three days.  Once you go back and review what you've written, you'll be able to make some decisions about what you REALLY want in your life!

The second step is to consider your decision-making ability.  Remember that like all of us, there will be a few things you cannot change.  Paying bills, working with your children, going to your day job, for example.  Well, you can't change them right away.  But I am here to tell you, there is ALWAYS a way to make an unpleasant task more enjoyable. Always!  Here are some examples of the types of decisions you will be making as you go through this process:

1.  Do I love my surroundings?  How can I modify them to reflect who I really am and what I love?  This is highly important!  This is where you create your world!  This is where you can change what you are allowing into your life.  We create beauty by managing our surroundings.  Maybe you can clean your house a bit better - or save up so a cleaning lady can come in now and then!  Maybe you should re-cover your sofa and chairs as a way of updating them.  Maybe you should replace that old poster of AC/DC that you have on your wall with something more beautiful.  Maybe you need to declutter your home.  Get rid of all the junk you've been accumulating!  Have a yard sale and use the money from that junk to update things in your home.  And remember, nothing needs to be expensive!  Go get a $5.00 bouquet at the grocery store and a $2.00 vase at the dollar store.  Instant Glamour!!!

2.  Do I love my job?  Some days, I'm sure you do, but are you doing what you LOVE?  Do you need to add a hobby into your life so you feel more fulfilled?  Do you need to look for a new job altogether?  Only you can make this decision, but remember, the world is your runway and you can make any decision you want to make!

3.  Are there other areas in your life where you are feeling depleted?  Do you need to find someone else to pick up your children from school?  Do you need someone else to do your shopping?  There are lots of online services that will send your groceries right to your home!  Yes, this will be more expensive, but would it be worth it to you if you didn't have to perform that task any longer?  Maybe, and that is a decision you have to make. These are decisions that you can make which will immediately impact your life!

4.  Do you need to go back to school?  Finish your degree?  START on your degree?  No one ever said you have to go full time, even taking one class at a time will give you the feeling of making progress!  If this is something you are interested in, begin looking into it right away!  It's NEVER too late to start.  (I did the 25 year part-time plan!)

5.  Which other areas of your life are in need of some decision making TLC?  Make yourself a list of what you've chosen.  Prioritize that list and make some decisions!  YOU CAN DO IT!  And the more decisions you make, the easier it will become to continue making them!

Now, let's quickly discuss your environmental scan.  I have a friend who makes me laugh every day.  Any time I am with Libby and someone would act oblivious, extra loud, or otherwise inappropriate, she would say they had no environmental scan.  That has stayed with me for years.  Do you have a good environmental scanner?  Do you walk around in a daze, bumping into furniture, tripping over nothing (I've done this!), being too loud because you haven't noticed what is going on around you?  Now, I'm not saying don't be yourself.  I'm just saying be aware of what is happening around you.  For example, it would be horrible to tell a risqué joke at a funeral.  It would be horrible to laugh excessively loud in a hospital or a library.  Once you learn that your environmental scan is your friend, you can use it to determine what you love, who you love, what you don't love and what you do and do not want in your life.  Your environmental scan is your ability to pay attention to your surroundings.  For your sake and the sake of others, please develop your ability to pay attention to what is happening around you!  

I am putting this information under the category of Brains because I believe that if you pay attention to what is happening, you'll be better equipped to make decisions and move yourself forward - towards the life you've always wanted to live.

I have a feeling that once you begin to stop and take the time to think about what you truly want your life to look like, the steps to create that life will become clear to you.  And once you begin operating this way, aware of your environment, using your brain, you'll find more and more things that you are capable of doing that you never thought about before!  All it takes is a little time and a little brain power!  You are WELL-EQUIPPED, so let's get going!

Love,
Donna

PS.  If you would like some more information and inspiration, please visit my website:
www.brilliancefactor.com where you'll learn how you can work with me to start taking action on creating the best life possible!

And please leave me a comment below.  I'd love to know what you think about this post!
Stay tuned for next week's Part 3.  BRILLANCE!!!

10 Steps to Adding Beauty, Brains and Brilliance to Your Life. Part 1 -Beauty

How important is beauty to you and to your life?  Do you see Beauty as frivolous and unnecessary?

Let me begin by sharing this quote with you:


 
"Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself."  Coco Chanel 


Let me ask you this question.  What is beauty to you?  Do you look all around you and see beauty in your children, in your pets, your spouse, your friends?  Do you look at your home and see beauty that is created by YOU?  When you look into your closet, do you see a wardrobe that you have curated into a beautiful selection that reflects your personal style?

Beauty can mean very different things to different people.  It is always in your best interest to determine what beauty means to you.  And once you've done that, it is also your responsibility to create that beauty in every area of your life.  I'm not suggesting you do this in order to look better than anyone else, or to feel superior to anyone.  I'm suggesting, no, insisting that you determine what is beautiful to you and surround yourself with it.  Surrounding yourself with beauty will create a feeling of happiness and contentment that is only for YOU.

Where you find beauty in this life is most likely, completely different than where I find beauty.  When I choose to add beauty that I into my life, it is only for me.  For me, to create beauty is to create a feeling, an atmosphere, a way of being that reinforces who I want to become.   I have spent a great deal of time seeking out and choosing what I find to be beautiful in the various areas of my life and then implementing those things into my daily life.  By doing this, I wake up every day surrounded by beauty and embodying that beauty, just for me.  When I live my life and go about each day enjoying the beautiful things in my life, I am living a life I've chosen for myself - not one that I've stumbled upon accidentally, or inherited from someone else's ideas.

By living on purpose, and allowing only the exquisite - suelement l'exquis - into my life, I am choosing the way I live my life.  I am selecting what I allow into my life, and I am very particular about what that is.  I am referring to food, people, things, ideas, clothes, shoes, decorative items, jewelry, all of it.  Only the exquisite.  And that's just me.

Once we are able to choose who we want to become, and surround ourselves with those things that represent the life we want to live, we will begin to feel that the life we want is already ours!  And when we live this way, everything will begin to show up for us.

Please believe me, I am not suggesting that you run out and purchase things you cannot afford.  What I am saying is slow down!  Don't purchase things just because they are a "good deal."  Curate what you allow into your life very carefully and begin to weed out what doesn't feel exquisite to you and doesn't represent who you are becoming.

Here are some things that have worked for me when adding beauty into my life.  I think they may work for you as well.

1.  Give yourself a little more time in the morning when you are getting ready to begin your day.  Take a few extra minutes and put on some make up, fix your hair, make a conscious choice about what you're going to wear.  Then ask yourself if what you've done represents who you would like to become.  If not, make some changes.  Try again tomorrow, and again and again until you feel exactly the way you want to feel as your begin your day.

2.  Clean your house!  That's right!  I don't mean just dusting and vacuuming.  I mean rid yourself of all of the excess that clutters up your home and your mind.  Clean up the kitchen.  Put things away.  Declutter your brains out!!!  Clarity is  power and simplicity is freedom.  Lighten up your load of "junk" so you can open yourself up to lightness and creativity.

3.  Clean out your car!  Seriously!  Burger wrappers and stray fries in the backseat?  Children's toys, I totally get that, but at least put them in a tote bag behind one of the seats!  You can tell a lot about a person by looking into their car.  What is your car saying about you?  And I don't mean the Make/Model.  I'm talking about the cleanliness.  Your attention to detail!  Give it some thought and get it cleaned out!

4.  When is the last time you cleaned out your makeup drawer?  Wash those brushes!  Even if you are the only one using them, they need to be cleaned at least once each month.  Baby shampoo works great, so does dish washing liquid.  Are you hoarding makeup from 5 or 10 years ago because it was expensive?  Say bye bye to that old, expired stuff!  You don't need it, and anything you've held onto for that long, you haven't been using.  Again!  Bye bye!!!

5.  Put some fresh flowers in your house.  Flowers are Nature's Chanel.  They create a beautiful mood and atmosphere wherever you put them.  They don't need to be expensive!  Costco has them, your local grocery store has them.  Even your local gas station probably has them.  Get yourself some flowers and put them where you can see them, them write a comment below and let me know how they make you feel.

6.  Get yourself some beautiful candles!  These don't have to be expensive either!  TJMaxx HomeGoods has TONS of them!  So does the Dollar Store!  Create a beautiful mood with some candles in your bathroom, on your dining table, in your bedroom!  If the flame freaks you out, get some flameless candles.  You won't get a great scent from them, but the ambiance will be there!

7.  Find some beautiful music to listen to!  Just some pretty background music when nothing else is going on.  This is another great way to create ambiance and beauty in your home.

8.  Put a beautiful picture of someone you love on your bedside table.  Use a beautiful frame.  I also believe you should get yourself a beautiful water glass for your bedside table.  The Red Solo Cup does not scream BEAUTY!  Get something pretty that makes you feel special!  I have a Baccarat Crystal Tumbler.  Just one!  It makes me feel like a queen!

9.  Clean off your bathroom vanity!  Is everything you own out on display?  Let's get that stuff put away, my beautiful creature!  Only keep what you use every day around, and put everything else in a cabinet or in a pretty box somewhere.  Declutter, declutter, declutter!  Put a pretty candle on your vanity!  Clean it up even if no one but you sees it!  This is not for anyone else.  Just YOU.

10.  When you have dinner, use your prettiest serving dishes, your prettiest china.  Use real flatware and NOT plastic!  Get yourself a few cloth napkins.  Glam it up, baby!  This will make mealtime much more elegant and enjoyable.  Those cloth napkins will go nicely in your laundry when you're done!  Light the candles, put on some music and create the feeling of elegance and beauty when you dine!


"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well."  Virginia Woolf


These are just a few of my ideas for adding beauty into your life, and I admit that they may take a bit of work to create.  Some of them are quick fixes and others will take some thought.  However, when it comes to creating beauty in your life, this is a wonderful place to start.

Please leave me a comment below and let me know what you think about this week's post!

Next week:  BRAINS!  my love!  BRAINS!

Have a Beautifully Brilliant Day!!

Donna

Please visit my website.  Here you will gain more inspiration and learn how you can work with me to create your most beautiful life!  

www.BrillianceFactor.com

The Day I Got a Migraine from Rolling My Eyes!

THAT was a fun day.  It was my 9th day in a row of working.  We were having a huge event with a huge goal and each day was a marathon.  Every day required super-hero strength and energy.  And every ounce of my being was fighting back.

Yes, I try to stay healthy, eat well, drink plenty of water, enough sleep, etc.  But for this event, there wasn't time for anything like that.  It was go-go-go time.  And my body was screaming stop-stop-stop!

Then the day started.  

I got to work a bit early so I could be prepared for my day with supplies and anything else I might need.  Then, as soon as I walked into the building, our Loss Prevention Manager stopped me and asked me to read and sign a document that outlined an update to our Employee Discount program. (Eye roll #1). I've been in this business for nearly 40 years.  I get it. The discount is not to be shared with friends, blah, blah, blah.  

I tried to get out of reading it and just sign the form, but he called me on that and made me stand there, with 6 other people, reading the form and then signing the document in his presence!  (Eye roll #2).  Was he afraid that I'd sign someone else's name?  Seriously!!!

Then I went to the elevator to bring my supplies to my floor.  ELEVATOR.  BROKEN.  AGAIN.  (Eye roll #3).   So being the team player that I am, I lug all of my things up 3 flights of stairs.  Maybe I can take a quick breather when I get to my floor.  

Wait!  There is a department meeting going on and everyone sees me come in with too many bags of stuff!  Late!!!  

"Sorry I'm late, I had to sign......."  Interrupted.  Keep the meeting going.  Some middle manager is telling everyone the importance of repeating the words: "Would you like to use your **** credit card to take care of your purchase?"  (Eye roll #4)  Now memorize that.

And while we're at it, let's role play saying it to each other.  (Eye roll #5)

After my ninth day in a row, absolutely everything was driving me crazy.  The cackling of the older women talking about the state of the store.  Bursting into unnecessarily loud laughter.  I couldn't take it.  My mind, body and spirit were worn down to a nub.  (Eye roll #6)

Yes! I loved the job I had at the time.  I enjoyed everything I did from day to day.

But this was just too many days in a row. Too intense.  Too high a goal.  Not enough traffic in the store to warrant the high goal.  And NINE DAYS STRAIGHT??? (Eye roll #7)

That day, I went home with the worst headache of my life.  I felt like someone had been chasing me around all day demanding more and more from me.  When I finally was able to leave for the day, I felt as though I was crushed like a Pinot grape.

I rushed home as fast as I could that night.  I didn't eat, I drank a bit of water, washed my face and dragged myself into my bed.  Turns out I wasn't helping myself by rushing to bed the way I did.  If I had known then what I know now!  (Eye roll #8)

END OF THAT DAY.  END OF THAT EVENT (We did make our goal!).

Now.  In 2016, I choose to spend a respectable amount of time making sure I am doing well. I pamper myself when called for.  Mani/pedi, the right amount of sleep, clean, good food, and I use music to change my mood when necessary.  I also spend a great deal of time alone with my thoughts.  Doing this allows me to monitor how I am feeling.  To be aware of what is triggering my thoughts and actions.

So if I'd had that horrible day how up in my life now, I would be well equipped to manage my energy and my attitude.  Equipped to deal with my internal dialog and my external aching feet!  To manage my sweaty armpits and the dark circles under my eyes!

If this day were to show up now, I'd laugh with the Loss Prevention Manager about how seriously he's taking a most likely unenforceable document!

If this day were to read it's ugly little head now, I would remind myself that I was getting great exercise during the time the elevator was out.  I'd reward myself by taking it easy that night!

If this day were to happen again, I would be the loudest role player at the meeting, just to make everyone laugh!  I would either participate in, or walk away from the cackling ladies.  I would remind myself that they are happy ladies and I should be happy for them, rather than impatient.

I also would be smart enough to schedule a massage for a pedicure, so I could stop on my way home that day.  I'd have lots of water around at all times.  I'd make sure I got some exercise in and a good meal before flinging myself into bed.

I would remember to be grateful that I have a job I love, where I get to roll my eyes!  I'd be grateful for the nice people I am blessed to work with every day.  And finally, I'd be grateful for the beautiful life I get to live.  The beautiful place where I get to live!

And then finally, I'd be grateful for LeMetier de Beaute Peau Vierge Corrector/Concealer in Shade 0 because it covers all the ugly spots!  I'd hold my head high, know that I work very hard, and I'd take pride in my accomplishments.  Even the sweaty, difficult ones.

So GO BE GRATEFUL for every second of your sweaty, sticky, cackling, frustrating life. And be grateful that you get to manage those days into exactly what you want them to look like.  Be grateful that life is wonderful!!!

Love,
Donna

And if you'd like some additional inspiration, visit my Website at:

www.BrillianceFactor.com

It is here that you will learn how you can work with me and create the life of your dreams, with no shame, guilt or EYE ROLLING MIGRAINES!!!

Shame: A total waste of time!

If you are like me - and most women - there are things in your past that you would rather not tell the whole world about.  Like that guy, or those guys from college - or that girl!  The bad financial decision you made when you were younger.  That impulsive choice you made that left you alone and alienated from your people.  How badly you treated your body.  How badly you treated others.

Now don't get me wrong, I am all about keeping your own secrets, not airing your dirty laundry, not over sharing everything that you've ever done in your past.  There are things that you should absolutely keep to yourself.  And we as women love a little secret, don't we?  So once again, don't think for a minute that I'm suggesting you hold an intervention for yourself, invite everyone you know and spill your guts.  Absolutely not!  What I am suggesting though, is that you find a way to look at your past, accept what has happened, learn the lesson and MOVE ON FROM IT!  

Let's examine my suggestions for getting past any guilt and shame you may be feeling about how you've lived your life.  

1.  Look at your past.  One of the best ways to get past any shame you are feeling is to take the time to think about the situation.  Where was your heart?  What did your life look like at that time?  How were you feeling?  How was your confidence level back then?  

You must hear me on this.  There was and is NOTHING wrong with you.  Yes, you made a questionable decision.  Big freaking deal!  You made a mistake.  Who doesn't make mistakes?  You did something stupid?  Welcome to the big girls club!  

2.  Accept what happened!  Ok.  As I said, you made a questionable choice.  You made a questionable choice, and you made a questionable choice.  EVERYONE DOES THAT!  You must accept the fact that at that moment, you weren't perfect - like you are now!  Tell yourself this, "Yea, I did that.  It's just what I did.  I did the best I could at the time."  And remember, MANY, MANY, MANY OTHER PEOPLE HAVE DONE THE SAME THING!  No big deal!  

3.  Learn the lesson.  Ask yourself what the hell was going on?  You made a decision.  A bad one.  Why did you make that decision?  Try to remember all of the circumstances.  What did you learn?  Did you realize it was a mistake right away?  If not, what made you think it was a mistake?  Was it REALLY a mistake, or do you just tell yourself it was a mistake.  What was the lesson you learned?  Dig deep for this.   Spend some time thinking about it.  

Was it a mistake that you made again and again?  Did you make the mistake only one time because you realized what you were doing?  

Did you learn to respect yourself?  Did you learn that despite how it felt at the time, you kept on living?  Bravo!  Did you learn to be a bit less impulsive?  To think through consequences before acting in the future?  Do you have advice inside you that you'd like to share with someone who is in the same situation you were in?  These lessons are extremely important.  They will help you re-write your story, so you can love your life and walk away from any quilt or shame that you've been hiding.

4.  Move on, baby!  Once you begin to understand why you made the questionable decisions you've made as well as the lessons you've learned, you can move on.  You'll be able to tell your story - if you choose to do so - with a sense of calm acceptance.  

Try to re-tell your story to yourself.  This may take some practice.  When you are writing, keep in mind who you were at the time, what the circumstances were in your life at the time, and what lessons you learned from it.  Then once you know the story you choose to tell, and if you choose to do so, find a close friend who you can share your story with.  I recommend doing this at least once, just to see how it feels.  

While you are working through this, you must internalize this:  YOU DID THE BEST YOU COULD DO AT THE TIME WITH THE TOOLS YOU HAD TO WORK WITH.  YOU LEARNED A LESSON  AND NO ONE WILL EVER ACCUSE YOU OF NOT LIVING  AN INTERESTING LIFE!!!

My love, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of.  Please believe me.  Share it, or keep it all to yourself.  Regardless of what you choose to do with the information, there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR YOU TO BE ASHAMED OF YOUR PAST.  

Your past has brought you to where you are right now.  Are there improvements that can be made in your life now?  Fine! Make them!  Are you finally where you want to be?  Remember that one tiny little change in the path you have taken, and you wouldn't be where you are now.  

So please, if you have any shame or regret from your past, follow my steps to get yourself past those feelings.  Who knows how many other women need to learn from you!!!

Love,

Donna

PS.  For more inspiration or help, please visit my www.brilliancefactor.com

Or email me at Donna.tbf@gmail.com.  I would love to hear from you!