That PESKY Goal setting! Let's talk CAREER!

So.  What do you do for a living?  Is is your dream job or is it just a paycheck?

We have all had those times during our lives where our jobs were just to pay the rent.  Believe me, I've had a bunch of them!  There's nothing wrong with that, either.  Even if you do have a great job that you love, I always say this:  Some days it's a dream job, some days it's a paycheck.  

Any job you have, whether it's your dream job or not, can't be all sunshine, rainbows and butterflies every day.  Think about that.  

If your job is too easy, you probably should be working towards some kind of promotion, or maybe you aren't making as much money as you'd like because you're doing a job that's easy to do.  Also, remember that your job is, and should feel like work.  If a job is fun every day, we wouldn't get paid to do it!  They wouldn't call it work, they'd call it fun!

But let's get back to the point.  Do you LOVE your job?  Are you doing the type of work you always dreamed of doing?  If not, don't be discouraged.  You're just going through one of those 'just a paycheck' times.

Let me ask you a question.  What do you love to do so much that you would do it for free?  I'm sure you've heard that question before.  I just want you to know that it is an extremely important question and if you not love what you do, you need to give this some serious thought.  

One of the goals we all need to have set for ourselves is a career goal.  Even if you do have your dream job, what is your next step?  Is it to get promoted?  Is it to break out on your own and do that job for yourself, independently?  Scary?  Not everyone is comfortable being self-employed and that is just fine.  If you know that about yourself, then think about what your next step in your chosen field should be.  Is it more education?  More self-confidence?  A promotion within your company?  A move to a bigger company?  You must always know your next step.  

Once you know the next step up in your company, you must ask yourself what you need to do to get there.  So many people just keep swimming along, hoping that their boss will recognize them and come to them to offer a promotion.  It happens occasionally, but honestly, the bad news is unless you put yourself out there and let the right people know that you want more, most likely you'll just stay where you are.  Trust me on this.  Been there, done that, got disappointed, will not wear the T- shirt.

Set a goal for yourself to get all of the information you can find about the position you'd like to have next.  See if there are specific things you need to learn, and go get that information, too!  Once you are armed with the information on what you want and need, you can get yourself working towards that job.  You can talk to your supervisor about it.  Every employer wants self motivated, forward thinking people.  Be that person.  Know what is next for you and GO AFTER IT!

Now let's say you are wanting to build your own brand or business.  Who do you have mentoring you?  Who do you know, or know of, who has already made the move you're thinking about?  Have you reached out to that person?  Don't think of yourself as a competitor of theirs.  Think of yourself as someone with a common goal!  And just like the individual I was addressing before you, have you spent time researching what would be required for you to step on out??  This information is vital if you are going to be in a business similar to your current employer.  Set a goal for yourself to learn the parts of the business you don't already know.  This way you will be prepared to discuss your goals with your boss.

Now what if neither of these people are you?  Maybe you have a dream!  Maybe you have a business idea that you've always wanted to explore.  Do the research, but give yourself a deadline!  There are people out there who have million dollar ideas, but can't seem to get started.  The more you learn, the easier it will be for you to make it happen.  

Don't have that brilliant idea yet but want one?  Keep searching your heart.  When trying to come up with YOUR business idea, don't start out looking for big money.  Look for something that you are passionate about.  Look for something that will make you bounce out of bed in the morning.  Look for something you really, really love...and probably would do for free.  Once you figure that out, then you need to put your thinking cap on and find a way to make money doing it.  

I'm sure you've heard people say, "Do what you love and the money will follow."  I love that quote, but...and a BIG OL' BUT...I want it mapped out.  I want to know HOW the money will follow.  And WHEN it will follow.  That's part of the research.  You need all the facts before you walk away from your current job. (Unless you are independently wealthy, or 100% debt free!). You'll need your job to keep the bills paid and provide you with an income while you get your plans into place, and your company up and running.

So I say again, set some goals for yourself.  A deadline to get your research done.  How about a deadline to actually get the research started?  Learn how the money will be made, calculate how long it will take you to replace your current income.  

You should examine your goals often.  At least weekly to be sure you are on track.  If you're not on track, you need to ask yourself what it is that's holding you back.  You may need to revisit your goal and make some changes.  Also ok!  Your goals are not cast in concrete!  You can change them as you need to change them.  Just don't let yourself off the hook too easily.  

Set some career goals.  You need to be moving forward in one way or another.  Don't settle for the status quo.  But we know you would NEVER settle for less than your potential!  You're planning and setting goals for your own 365 Brilliant Days!!

Love and blinding brilliance,

Donna

That PESKY Goal Setting! Let's talk RELATIONSHIPS!

I know that setting goals can difficult.  I left you with a few areas to think carefully about.  It can be overwhelming to examine these areas all at one.  So give yourself a break!  Maybe you need to spend a week on each area.  Maybe you need to spend an hour.  Honestly, even if you think you need only a few minutes in each area, I challenge you to spend a good hour or so on each one.

The more time you spend thinking about the categories and questions I've suggested, the more ideas you'll have about what you want your life to look like, and what you need to change to get there.

So let's visit those areas once again, one at a time this time, and see what we can accomplish together.

We will start with....

RELATIONSHIPS:  I asked you to pretend you're in a perfect world.  YOUR perfect world.  That can be really difficult because most people feel as though they have no control over the people in their lives.  But not you, my fabulous one.  YOU know that you can manage outside influences, right?

What about my husband, wife, parents, siblings?  Yes, you are stuck with them - to a point.  I'm going to introduce you to a word that you've heard and used before, but I'm going to yell it at you because it's so important.  Ready?

BOUNDARIES!!!

We all have people in our lives that are simply going to be there no matter what we do.  This sister, that cousin, this aunt, that in-law.  Do you have people in your life who are making you unhappy every time you speak with them or see them?  Of course.  We all do.  The way powerful, accomplished, successful individuals deal with this type of person, is to limit the energy they give them.  They set boundaries, and so can you.  You can limit the time you spend with people.  You can limit phone calls to just a few minutes.

REMEMBER:  YOU are creating your best life!  YOU are creating your dream life!  YOUR TIME IS LIMITED.  Believe me, we ALL have that "special" relative that we don't talk about.  We deal with him or her at holidays and weddings.  But honestly, YOU get to choose who you spend your time and energy with.  Now that you're setting goals for yourself, you MUST to choose who you spend time with.

I know a true story about the wonderful Mary Kay Ash.  You remember her, right?  She was the founder and creator of Mary Kay Cosmetics.  She was very active in her business up until the very end.  She was a strong woman, born years ahead of her time.  She spoke to her Consultants all the time.  Before the company became too large to manage this, she would call every Consultant on her Birthday!  How many times has your boss done that???  As you can imagine, some of the women she called would get so excited to hear from her that they'd try to keep her on the phone for ages!!  What did this amazing, powerful, successful woman do to manage that?  She had a doorbell installed in her office.  If a call was going on too long, she would press the doorbell and the person on the phone would hear the sound.  Mary Kay would apologize and tell the consultant how sorry she was that she need to go.  BRILLIANT, right???   WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!!???  Now THAT is how you handle a phone call!

You are allowed to be busy!  There is nothing wrong with telling someone who calls you that you need to call them back!  You are responsible for how you spend your time and if you are going to accomplish your goals, you need to learn how to manage it.

We all have wonderful friends we want to hear from, and that is great.  Just make sure you're not spending so much time chatting about your new Louboutin's that you forget what you had on your schedule for that day.

Do you have friends who just show up at your door?  Talk about an interruption!  Get a grip on that, girl.  You have priorities and things to do.  If she can join you in painting the living room, or join you for your grocery shopping trip or join you for whatever YOU chose to do at that time, then great!  Hand her a paint brush.  If not, then you need to schedule a date!  Meet for coffee at 10:00am.  Meet for lunch or breakfast.  Scheduling a shopping trip would be fun!  Key word:  SCHEDULING.  That 365 Brilliant Days Planner is going to come in very handy now, isn't it?

I know this is a long rant about managing the people you allow into your perfect world.  The bottom line is that you must choose who you spend your time with.  Do you have ENERGY VAMPIRES in your world?  You know, the friend who keeps telling you all about her horrible life and wants to drag you right down with her?  We'll get into the ENERGY VAMPIRES at another time.  For now, you just need to recognize that it's happening.

Here is an easy step you can take toward managing your time:   Let the call go to voicemail!  God created Caller ID for YOU!   USE IT!

So who should you spend your time with?  I always think it's a good idea to be around people who know more than I do.  I want to be around people who are honest and people I can learn from.  I want to be around people who are ALSO setting goals and managing who they allow into their lives.
Spend time with people who are going to lift you up and share that celebratory glass of champagne!  Allow people into your life who are growing and bettering themselves.  Positive, uplifting, cheerleaders!  That's who I want, baby.  That's who I AM for my friends and those are the relationships I want to nurture.

Whether you're "stuck with" someone or not, anyone in your life who defeats you, makes you feel inferior, makes you feel tired, is not supportive of what you are doing, makes fun of you and your goals, or makes you question your decisions, cannot celebrate a win with you, destroys your confidence....NEEDS TO GO.  Or at least be well-managed.  And YOU, sweet one, are going to be the MASTER of this!

Now, I hear the wheels turning in your head.  You're thinking:  Picking and choosing the people in my life??  Managing my time with various people??  Doesn't that make me a bad person??
I have a nice, friendly, uplifting, cheerful, honest, two word answer for you:  HELL NO!   Recognizing how people effect your life and your happiness makes you is a SMART person.  Doing something about it makes you BRILLIANT!

Feel free to contact me if you have more questions about this topic.  But now that you've read this sweet little love letter from me, take that hour I challenged you to take.  Think about the people whom you've allowed into your life.  Think about the time and energy you're giving to all of the people in your life.  And the most important question to answer is this:  Are you giving all of that energy to positive, encouraging people?  Are you limiting the influence that the negative people in your life have on you?

Please think about all of this.  Make some notes.

Chat with you later, beautiful...

A Brilliant Sunday!! Let's get going!!

It's the perfect lazy Sunday.  It's a chilly day for Texas, 73 degrees, partly cloudy...the perfect day for a cute pair of sweats - mine are cashmere, thank you Neiman Marcus Last Call!  A pair of fuzzy slippers, a pot of tea and a good movie.  Also, 2 lazy dogs asleep on the sofa beside me, snoring gently.  So cute!

I didn't always have the luxury of a lazy Sunday like this.  In the past, I would be running around like a crazy person trying to fit everything I could into my only day off this week.   But no more of that!  How? Why? Can I have some of that, you ask?  But of course my darlings!  I'm happy to share my little secret with you.

First let me quote one of my greatest mentors, Tony Robbins.  "CLARITY IS POWER!"  
For those of you who know him, you also know that he doesn't just say that.  He shouts it from the rooftops!!!  Why?  Because it's true.

Once I figured that out, life became a lot more simple.  It will get that way for you, too, if you want it.  Now don't get me wrong, you will need to be diligent with what you get clear about, but trust me when I say it will be 100% worth it,  and the happiest life you have ever allowed yourself to have.  You will get there in just a few steps if you will trust me and start the planning process with me by your side!

So who is with me??  Who is ready to start??

Step 1.  Decide what is important to you.  Run and get yourself a pretty notebook and pen.
Step 2.  I want you to draw a grid on your paper with four areas in it.  At the top of each area, write one of the following words:
     "RELATIONSHIPS" this section will include family, romantic, friends, anything that has to do with interpersonal skills.
     "CAREER". in this section well cover your work life.
     "FINANCE". Here we will cover your financial goals.
     "YOU". Write your name here.  This will be all about YOU!  Your health, your education, your well being.

It is important to take your time now.  Don't rush through this exercise.  This is where YOU learn all about YOU!  And it is super important.

Step 3.  Go through each section and make notes.  Quick notes, not paragraphs, but be thorough.  I want you to start each section by asking yourself this, "In a perfect world, where there are no limits, what do I want?  What would make this area of my life perfect?  Go wild!  Be creative!!  Don't hold back!!!

Let's examine the categories:

     RELATIONSHIPS.   In a perfect world, what would my relationships look like?  Who do I want in my life, who do I need to excuse from my life, and who am I sort of stuck with? Which relationships do I need to nurture?  Who do I love and want more of?  Am I being a good friend, relative, partner in return to the people who have been good to me?  Which of my relationships do I need to make a priority?  Wow!  All of that in a block on a grid?  Yep!  Give yourself some time.  At least a good 20 to 30 minutes to think this through.

     CAREER.  In a perfect world, what would my career look like?  What would be the perfect job for me, if I had no limits?  Am I doing what I love?  Am I passionate about it, or is it just a paycheck?   What SHOULD I be doing for a living? Do I already have that job?  (If so, lucky you!)  Do I feel as though I deserve a promotion?  Does my boss agree?  What do I need to work on in order to move forward?  Do I even need to move forward, or is this enough?

     FINANCE.  Everyone's favorite subject.  In a perfect world, what would my financial situation look like?  What does it look like now?  Be realistic.  Do I carry a lot of credit card debt?  Am I current on my bills?  Do I need to get caught up on my bills?  What would my life look like if I were not in the financial situation I am in now?

     YOU.  Me?  Wow!  A section all about me?  Of course!  How is my health?  Am I caught up on all of my maintenance Drs. appointments?  If not, what do I need to schedule.  Am I spending time on myself? Am I spending time doing some sort of workout?  Do I need to work on my Mental Health a bit?  Do I need to read more?  Do I need to spend more time alone?  How do I present myself?  Do I look like I just rolled out of bed most days?  Do I look like a million bucks???  Am I taking good care of myself, my appearance, my health?

So!  Now that you've read all of this.  Let's get to it!!  Start writing down your thoughts.  They don't all have to be perfect!  Do NOT lie!  Tell the truth.  No one will ever see what you're writing except for you.  Now is the time to do a good analysis on these areas and determine what you need to continue doing and what you need to start doing, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, what you need to STOP doing!

Remember when you're going through this exercise, to be NURTURING!  Be kind to yourself.  Be understanding, but also be honest.  Commit to yourself that bettering yourself requires brutal honesty and some time - and YOU are perfectly able to change anything you want to change.  Remember that nothing will change overnight, but more importantly, nothing will change at all until you accept the fact that it's up to YOU to change it.

I'm going to show you exactly how to do that in a very organized and honest way.

Ready.......??

Day 6.... Think, plan and celebrate!

Before we get started today, I want to let you know that we will get into much greater detail on goal setting a little further on down the road.  These first days of blogging are just to get you thinking about YOU!

Who are you vs. who you want to be.
What you have vs. what you want.
How you live vs. how you want to live.
What relationships you are in vs. what relationships you want to be in.

You get it.  Maybe you have exactly everything you want and live exactly how you want to live.  If that is the case then I want to meet you!  Just about everyone has some place in their life that could use a little work or a little TLC.  Well cheers to you!!  You are in the right place to get it all figured out.

Because this process of creating your best life shouldn't be excessively painful, I decided to write about the fun part early on in the game.  My friend and Coach, Cara Alwill Leyba has written three books that will change your life.  RUN....do not walk...to Amazon and get the following books:

Sparkle
The Champagne Diet
Fearless and Fabulous

Anyone wanting a better life needs to own these and live by her principles.

One of the many outstanding ideas that I learned from Beautiful Cara is the importance of celebrating something every single day. You may be thinking, "Really Donna?  My kid is throwing up, my dog pooped on the floor, I'm broke, my car is making a new noise that no one can hear but me, my boss is hideous and I feel fat.  What am I going to celebrate?"

Well let me tell you, my little skeptic... There is something for you to celebrate every day of your life.  So break open the bubbly, or your beverage of choice and check these ideas out:

1.  Celebrate the fact that you got through a day with a sick kid!  THAT is an accomplishment!
2.  Celebrate the fact that you remembered to wear your sunscreen!
3.  Celebrate the fact that you didn't run your boss over in the parking lot!
4.  Celebrate the fact that you have a car and a job and a dog in your life!

        And the biggest reason of all....

5.  Celebrate the fact that you have reached a place in your life where you can recognize that a few things need to change.
6.  Celebrate the fact that you now realize that YOU are in control of what is happening in your world.

How freeing is it to know that while everything in your life may not be perfect at the moment, you can change it and mold it and turn it into exactly what you want it to be.  You have everything you need right now to turn it all around for yourself.

So YES YES YES!!  Break out that beautiful glass of whatever you want and really feel good about what is about to happen!!!

.......what are you waiting for?

Brilliant Day 5... Thinking about what you really want!

....So you think you can't fit it all into your life?  If you're careful you can, I promise you.  There are a few steps you must follow in order to fit all of the important things into your life and your schedule.

The first thing you need to do is set clear goals.  I learned a lot about goal setting from the legendary Anthony Robbins.  He says that in order to reach your goals, you have to get clear about what you actually want.  Makes sense, right?  If you're not clear about what you need to accomplish, you won't accomplish anything.

In order to set good, attainable goals for yourself, first you need to have a few categories from which to choose.  I'm going to give you a few categories and once you get going, you'll want to add one or two of your own.

1.  Physical
2.  Financial
3.  Home
4.  Relationships
5.  Work

These are in no order, whatsoever.  So choose the one you that sounds most important to you.

If you choose Physical:  First, you should take stock of where you are.  Are you over weight?  Are you a great weight but need to be more toned?  Are you toned and fit, but want to make sure your heart is healthy?  In this area you might want to get in really great shape - who doesn't.  Should you join a gym?  Will you go?  You'll have to fit it into you schedule.    Maybe you just need to go for a quick run each morning or evening.  That will take care of cardio as well as firm things up a bit!

Here's a goal I would set:  I want my heart to be healthier, so I need to get more physical.  I want to run on my elliptical machine that I desperately needed to purchase a year ago.  Since I bought it, I've been using it as a clothes rack.  My goal is to get on that thing three times per week.  Part of that goal is to get a TV set up in front of it, so I don't just walk away when I get tired or bored.  I have a goal of bringing a TV in front of it by the end of the week, so I can start using the elliptical next Monday.  After I have the area set up, I will go to my 365 Brilliant Days Planner and choose the three days and times I will put myself on that hideous machine.  I will put a good movie in and watch 30 minutes of it at a time so I can look forward to continuing the move the next time I work out.  If it's too boring and I hate it, I'll schedule to go out running instead.  There.  Goal set and recorded in my planner.

Would you choose Financial as your goal?:  My goal would be to get debt free as soon as possible.  I cannot set an exact date until I sit down with all of my bills and create a budget.  I'll write down all of the bills and the balances on each one.  I'll choose which one to pay off first and focus on that one as much as possible until it's gone, while still paying on the others as well.  Once that one is gone, I'll focus on the next.  Then the next, then the next.  I'll write each payday into my planner and remind myself of which bill I'm continuing to focus on.  I may even add up the entire balance of all of my debt and write a new list each payday - if it's not too depressing!!!  But keeping track of it in my planner will help keep me focused on it so I don't forget and decide a new pair of Louboutin's would be more important!!!

Maybe you choose to set a goal for your Home:  Note your days off.  Make a list of everything in your wildest dreams that you'd like to re-do in your home.  Start plugging those things into you planner on your days off.  Not all at once.  Just one or two things on each day.  After a while, all of the things you wanted to do will be done.  You've scheduled them.  You're going to work on them.  They will get completed.

Relationships?:  Have you been neglecting people who are important to you?  I'm guilty of this.  Make a goal of contacting one person every other day.  Mom, Dad, best friend, new friend, old friend, relative.  Do not underestimate the value of your relationships.  This is an important goal for everyone to set.  Write who you want to call/email/write into your planner.  Don't think of it as heartless because its written on paper.  It is a reminder.

Remember our friend Albert Einstein:  Don't waste time trying to remember things you can write down and look up later!

Last goal to discuss for now:  WORK.  That four letter word.  Do you have your dream job?  Are you happy to go to work each day?  They say do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life again.  Are you doing what you love?  We'll talk more about this soon.  For now, make a few notes about what your dream job would look like.  What do you love to do so much that you'd do it for free??  I think we'd better come back to this one.  For now, schedule some time for yourself in your planner to sit down quietly and think about your job.   Think about what you love about it, what you hate about it.  What you'd rather be doing.  Pretend it's a perfect world and you can do anything you want.  Get the juices flowing.....

You don't need to know exactly every move you're going to make in every area.  You just need to get started.  Each month, in our 365 Planners we'll be re evaluating our goals to see where we need to modify them.  You will reach a goal and need to find something else!  I promise that will happen to you!

Your first goal is just to get started.  Get thinking.  Get writing.  Get going.  No commitments, just ideas about your perfect, dream life!!

Get a beautiful glass of Champagne (or your beverage of choice).

We're about to start celebrating every day!!!........

Where the heck is Day 4??!!

Where the heck is Day 4 you ask? 

I am writing this on Day 5!  AS PLANNED my lovelies! 

The beauty of organizing your life consistently is that you also have the luxury of planning a day off for yourself.  I've had today planned for quite a while actually.

I have it written into my 365 Brilliant Days planner and I've been looking forward to it!!  Counting down the days as a matter of fact.

My wonderful,  fabulous, smart, sexy husband has been out of town.  He was back in town for only a couple of days so we planned a romantic dinner - Chinese food to go - some snuggly alone time, and a movie at home date night!

It was so nice!!  We were able to spend a nice amount of uninterrupted time talking and catching up.  Reorganizing our schedules and planning our next date night for when he gets home in a week or so!  Then we..... dot dot dot..... and spent the rest of the evening watching a great movie that we both love! 

(....dot dot dot..... courtesy of the Mamma Mia movie)

The beauty of being as organized and thought-out as we are is that now we have something BRILLIANT in our schedules!  We don't feel as though we are passing notes and texts to each other.   We will look forward to our date, think of something fun to do, and if we start to feel a little lonely, we will think about our date and smile!

Please understand that I am not giving you all this detail to tell you how fabulous my life is.  Although it IS.  I am telling you this because I want you to understand that every part of your life can be organized.  Not just your work and your tasks, but your off duty life as well!  And all written down in the same place.  Allowing you to create joy and brilliance!  Allowing you to build the life of your dreams!!

With a little planning and carefully choosing to say yes or NO, you can probably fit it all in. 

And if you feel you can't......

Day 3. The Power of "NO"

.....Once the pity party was over and I figured out what I needed to fix, I felt 100 pounds of weight fly off of my shoulders.  I felt happy!  I felt like a light bulb went on over my head!  I felt free!  I felt opened up to new possibilities!  And it SCARED the shit out of me.

The BIG thing I needed to do was:  LEARN TO SAY NO.

Once I made the decision to learn to say no, I actually had to say the word to some people.  That was scary.  But I thought, start small.  The ladies who lived on my street used to meet up twice each week for book club.  Twice!  Why?  Don't normal book clubs meet up once each month?  Twice each week didn't even give me time to read the book!

"No" number one was to call the secretary of the "Bored Housewives Club" and tell her I couldn't come to the meetings any more.  PS and by the way.... I was the ONLY woman in my posh neighborhood in Connecticut that actually worked.  Everyone else played tennis at the Country Club full time.  I used to joke with them that none of them would be the next Anna Kournikova.  They were all over 40 and Anna was about 18.  Do the math.  Some of the ladies would even put their children in day care so they could play tennis all afternoon.  Me?  Resentful?  Sure made the phone call easier to make.  They were great ladies.  Fun and interesting.  Bye bye.  I'm sure they didn't miss me much after the fourth or fifth bottle of wine!

"No" number 2 was to my current husband.  That was a little harder.  I had to tell him that I was going to hire a cleaning lady.  I was saying no to cleaning a huge, dusty house by myself.  Strange, that man.  No matter how much money I made, it was all his!  How the HELL did I let that happen?  Shame on me.  He wasn't even all that cute!  And as you might imagine, he said, "Absolutely not.  I will not have some stranger in my house."  And as you might imagine, I decided to sneak a cleaning lady in once each week anyway.  It was BRILLIANT.  For a while at least.  Of course I got caught.  I panicked and introduced her as my friend, whom I was helping out!  He was a jerk, but he wasn't stupid.  Naturally, he knew I was lying and naturally, there was an argument.  I held my ground and told him I was going to continue having her come to clean.  If we wasn't ok with it, I'd continue having her come when he was at work.  Period.  Five days later it was all over.  I had my cleaning lady and he and I never talked about it again.  He's gone now.

"No" number 3 I felt a little guilty about.  For a minute.  Then I got over it.  I was asked to volunteer some time at our local grade school.  I do not have children, but that small detail didn't stop the PTA from asking me to volunteer a few mornings each week in the school library.  Of course, being the weenie that I used to be, I said yes.  Then about an hour later I hated myself for saying yes to her when I could barely find enough time in the day to get everything else done.  I called the school and backed out of the agreement.  No judging please.

Why am I telling you all of this?  One reason:  YOU must learn to say no.

How can you accomplish all of your goals and live your fabulous, brilliant life if you spend all of your time doing things for other people?  Let me explain!!!  We all have our favorite organizations, charities, etc. that we want to be part of.  I certainly do, and I find a way to help as much as I can.  Sometimes I help by sending a little money.  Sometimes I help by donating food.  Sometimes I help by showing up at an event an rolling up my sleeves.  I help based upon what I am able to fit into my life and my at that time.

Let me ask you this:  Who do you need to say no to?  Is it a girlfriend who is an energy drainer?  Is it a group you joined that is sucking the life out of you?

Especially while you are learning to manage your life and create your super organized, powerful self, you need to very closely manage with whom and with what you are filling your time.  There are 24 hours in a day.  You need to get a good night's sleep every night if possible.  There goes 8.  Do you work?  There goes another 8.  That leaves you 8 good hours to build, create, nurture, redecorate, declutter, achieve your goals and LIVE.  There is no honor in volunteering so much of your time that your own life suffers.  Make sure you are saying NO when you need to say no.  Make sure you are managing your time.  Even micro-managing your own time is good for you when you're working on your OWN BRILLIANT LIFE!

Once I said "NO" to 8 or 10 things that were sucking my time down the drain, I started to feel happier, more rested, more accomplished, less stressed.  I chose what I wanted to do every day.  I chose it, scheduled it and did it.  Life got better and better from that point on.

So give yourself a HUGE gift.  Time.  Time for you and for everything you want to accomplish.  Time to sit down quietly and set goals for yourself.  Time to spend with your family without being interrupted.  Time for a bubble bath and glass of champagne without being interrupted.  Time to finish that great book without being interrupted.  Time for YOU.

I promise you'll thank me when you master the power of "NO."

So now you're probably asking me, "OK smarty pants.  I have all this time now.  I admit I'm less stressed, but NOW what do I do?  There's only so much QVC I can watch."

That answer is coming.....      

Day 2. Donna's disorganized life

....In my last post, I said I would share with you what my life looked like before I decided that I'd had enough of the disorganization.  I was self-employed, which I am no longer.  Sidenote:  I REALLY miss working for myself.  It's not for everyone.  It's 24/7.  Well at least it was for me.  When - not if - WHEN I am able to become self-employed again, I know I will be so much more successful than I was last time.  Why?  The Big "O"!!!  Organization.

I needed to be organized, but I didn't know it yet.  I was just scrambling through each day, trying to stay in touch with my existing clients, manage my product, find new clients, manage my household, get my dog to the million Vet appointments she seemed to need, work out, maintain my nails, keep the fridge stocked with Champagne - thank you Cara Alwill-Leyba for showing me that Champagne is a big priority in my life!  ...keep food in the house, cook meals to keep my husband from starving, pick up the dry cleaning, vacuum up the dog hair...  AAAAAAaaaaaahhhhhh!!!

You got it.  I was all over the place!  And this went on for AGES!!!  I remember back then that there were days when I would go non-stop, 100 miles per hour, grab a burger at a drive-thru, go home, clean the house, make dinner, lay in bed and not remember a thing that I did.  I would actually lay there trying to remember what I'd accomplished on a given day and feel really badly when I realized that while I was moving as fast as I could, I accomplished absolutely nothing.  I'd look at my to do list and see that I didn't cross off a single thing.  This happened to me over and over.  I was busy being busy.  Sound familiar?

At one point, I was laying in bed thinking about my day, for the 10th or so day in a row and realized that I hadn't even looked at my list for days and days.  I had run errands, some for me, mostly for other people, and didn't do one single thing that would push me towards success in my business.  And worse than that, I didn't even feel good about what I had done and the tasks I had completed.  No sense of accomplishment whatsoever!

That was the night I cried.  I was physically and mentally exhausted and I had nothing to show for it. Now, believe me, I'm not the type to feel sorry for myself, and that's not where I'm going with this.  I was PISSED.   So pissed that all I could do was cry.  Really??  Exhaustion with NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT???  I'm sorry, but that does not work for me.  

I needed to get a grip.  If I'm going to work my ass off, at least I want to be happy doing it, and see some results from it.  Exhaustion is just not enough for me.  So how did I handle this, you ask?  I had a four day weekend-long pity party for myself.  I earned it.  I cried, prayed, listened to gentle music, listened to Ozzy Osbourne.  Even my pity party was all over the place, but I felt good about this weekend.

For the first time in ages, I felt like I was attempting to take control of my life, my attitude, my tasks and obligations.  There was a light that started shining on me (not really, but I felt like there should be).  I felt GOOD.  I felt like I had taken a minute to get in control.  During the last few hours of my weekend-long pity party I started organizing my brain a little.  Then I started writing some things down.

And I realized there was something absolutely HUGE that I needed to do, and I had to do it RIGHT AWAY.....