The more time you spend thinking about the categories and questions I've suggested, the more ideas you'll have about what you want your life to look like, and what you need to change to get there.
So let's visit those areas once again, one at a time this time, and see what we can accomplish together.
We will start with....
RELATIONSHIPS: I asked you to pretend you're in a perfect world. YOUR perfect world. That can be really difficult because most people feel as though they have no control over the people in their lives. But not you, my fabulous one. YOU know that you can manage outside influences, right?
What about my husband, wife, parents, siblings? Yes, you are stuck with them - to a point. I'm going to introduce you to a word that you've heard and used before, but I'm going to yell it at you because it's so important. Ready?
BOUNDARIES!!!
We all have people in our lives that are simply going to be there no matter what we do. This sister, that cousin, this aunt, that in-law. Do you have people in your life who are making you unhappy every time you speak with them or see them? Of course. We all do. The way powerful, accomplished, successful individuals deal with this type of person, is to limit the energy they give them. They set boundaries, and so can you. You can limit the time you spend with people. You can limit phone calls to just a few minutes.
REMEMBER: YOU are creating your best life! YOU are creating your dream life! YOUR TIME IS LIMITED. Believe me, we ALL have that "special" relative that we don't talk about. We deal with him or her at holidays and weddings. But honestly, YOU get to choose who you spend your time and energy with. Now that you're setting goals for yourself, you MUST to choose who you spend time with.
I know a true story about the wonderful Mary Kay Ash. You remember her, right? She was the founder and creator of Mary Kay Cosmetics. She was very active in her business up until the very end. She was a strong woman, born years ahead of her time. She spoke to her Consultants all the time. Before the company became too large to manage this, she would call every Consultant on her Birthday! How many times has your boss done that??? As you can imagine, some of the women she called would get so excited to hear from her that they'd try to keep her on the phone for ages!! What did this amazing, powerful, successful woman do to manage that? She had a doorbell installed in her office. If a call was going on too long, she would press the doorbell and the person on the phone would hear the sound. Mary Kay would apologize and tell the consultant how sorry she was that she need to go. BRILLIANT, right??? WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!!??? Now THAT is how you handle a phone call!
You are allowed to be busy! There is nothing wrong with telling someone who calls you that you need to call them back! You are responsible for how you spend your time and if you are going to accomplish your goals, you need to learn how to manage it.
We all have wonderful friends we want to hear from, and that is great. Just make sure you're not spending so much time chatting about your new Louboutin's that you forget what you had on your schedule for that day.
Do you have friends who just show up at your door? Talk about an interruption! Get a grip on that, girl. You have priorities and things to do. If she can join you in painting the living room, or join you for your grocery shopping trip or join you for whatever YOU chose to do at that time, then great! Hand her a paint brush. If not, then you need to schedule a date! Meet for coffee at 10:00am. Meet for lunch or breakfast. Scheduling a shopping trip would be fun! Key word: SCHEDULING. That 365 Brilliant Days Planner is going to come in very handy now, isn't it?
I know this is a long rant about managing the people you allow into your perfect world. The bottom line is that you must choose who you spend your time with. Do you have ENERGY VAMPIRES in your world? You know, the friend who keeps telling you all about her horrible life and wants to drag you right down with her? We'll get into the ENERGY VAMPIRES at another time. For now, you just need to recognize that it's happening.
Here is an easy step you can take toward managing your time: Let the call go to voicemail! God created Caller ID for YOU! USE IT!
So who should you spend your time with? I always think it's a good idea to be around people who know more than I do. I want to be around people who are honest and people I can learn from. I want to be around people who are ALSO setting goals and managing who they allow into their lives.
Spend time with people who are going to lift you up and share that celebratory glass of champagne! Allow people into your life who are growing and bettering themselves. Positive, uplifting, cheerleaders! That's who I want, baby. That's who I AM for my friends and those are the relationships I want to nurture.
Whether you're "stuck with" someone or not, anyone in your life who defeats you, makes you feel inferior, makes you feel tired, is not supportive of what you are doing, makes fun of you and your goals, or makes you question your decisions, cannot celebrate a win with you, destroys your confidence....NEEDS TO GO. Or at least be well-managed. And YOU, sweet one, are going to be the MASTER of this!
I have a nice, friendly, uplifting, cheerful, honest, two word answer for you: HELL NO! Recognizing how people effect your life and your happiness makes you is a SMART person. Doing something about it makes you BRILLIANT!
Feel free to contact me if you have more questions about this topic. But now that you've read this sweet little love letter from me, take that hour I challenged you to take. Think about the people whom you've allowed into your life. Think about the time and energy you're giving to all of the people in your life. And the most important question to answer is this: Are you giving all of that energy to positive, encouraging people? Are you limiting the influence that the negative people in your life have on you?
Please think about all of this. Make some notes.
Chat with you later, beautiful...
