NO! Such a beautiful word. Practice this: "NO!"
You, my dear must learn to say NO if you truly want to design your most brilliant life. Here's one of my stories:
I spent such a long time trying to figure out who I am. Years, as a matter of fact. All of my years. I've re-invented myself so many times, I'm beginning to resemble Madonna. Except for the voice. And the body. And the money. Well, you know what I'm saying.
Ten years ago, you wouldn't have recognized me. I wasn't overweight, and I did have the same dark hair, but if you'd had a conversation with me, you would have no idea that I ended up being who I am today. Of course, I'm still a work in progress. Aren't we all? But since then, I've taken the time to sit and learn and grow and make decisions about how I want to live my life. Ten years ago, I didn't even know what I liked to do, let alone knowing how to surround myself with everything exquisite, the way I do now. Ten years ago, I wouldn't have had a great conversation with you, because I would have been too busy being intimidated by you, and trying to impress you into liking me. Whew! Talk about an energy drain!
With that learning came clear goals and ideas of how I want my life to look. I realized that life is short. You agree, right? Life is short, and so we must make choices that result in a life we truly want to live and that makes us happy. Choices that lead us toward the life we want to live, not take us farther away from it. SO important! We must make on-purpose choices about how we want to spend our time. Or someone will do it for us! And it may not be what we would choose for ourselves!
Another revelation that came to me was this: Our results and outcomes are choice-driven. Every choice we make will lead us into a direction. We get to make those choices and we get to lead our lives toward our goals. So we better make good choices, right? If you don't choose how to spend your life and your time, trust me, someone else will spend your time for you. If you don't learn to say no in a way that people understand that you mean no, you'll find yourself working on someone else's goals, rather than your own. There have been many times in my life that I would shake my head and ask myself how I ended up doing something. The reason, I had to admit to myself, is that there are people who are strong. There are people who can find their way into my "yes" and I needed learn how to manage my choices!
Once this next little light bulb went on over my head, I found my path. I learned this from a National Sales Director for Mary Kay Cosmetics. She said to me, "Time invested in one area is time away from another area." So when I choose to write this to you, I am choosing to be away from something else. When I choose to watch House of Cards on TV, I am choosing to be away from writing my next book, or spending time with friends, or exercising. This is another reason that I wanted to learn how to make on-purpose decisions. As an adult woman with goals, dreams and desires, I get to choose how I spend my time! That is great news! Any time I find myself with a task that needs to be completed, I am able to ask myself if it is a priority for me and a good use of my time. And I say NO quite a bit!
Once you've taken the time to set your goals, choose your lifestyle and know what you want, you too will need to live your life on-purpose in order to live the life you've designed for yourself.
Remember that there will always be things that you'll be called on to do. Some of those things are wonderful, helpful, important and of great value. But you must have a mindset of discernment so that you know if you should make this a priority. Once again, will doing this lead you to your goals and desired life? Will it lead you farther away? Or will it just waste your time?
Just because you are fabulous and would be the one who can sell the most brownies at the bake sale, that doesn't mean that's what you SHOULD be doing right now. Just because you could lead the blood drive in your neighborhood and you'd be the one who can get more than anyone else, is it what you SHOULD be doing? Maybe yes, maybe no. It's your choice. But if you choose to take this on, you cannot complain later about your lack of time to focus on your own goals.
You must design your life so that you have your time prioritized and you can fit everything that you desire into your day. The Universe has given every one of us 24 hours in a day. If you can't fit everything in, then you must ask yourself what you have taken on that is keeping you away from your own path. Let go of those things by learning to say NO.
Once you become obedient to yourself, show up for yourself, and accomplish what you must accomplish in order to design your life and live the life you truly want to live, you will find that time will slow down for you. When you invest your time in building your own life, life will reward you again and again. Once you know how you want to live your life, and you gain clarity on the direction you want to go, the things you must do, tasks, chores, etc, will become very clear to you.
Always remember that the life you've chosen to live is your responsibility to create. Just because you have to say no to someone when they call upon you to help with their goals, doesn't mean you hate them, doesn't mean you don't care about them, doesn't mean you don't care about their cause. It just means that you are designing your life. You are setting goals. You are making choices to lead you into the direction you have chosen.
It is ok that the extra task someone wants you to do for them is just not your season right now. It can be in the future, but right now, you're focused on designing your most brilliant life!
Please leave me a comment about this topic! I'd love to know what you think!
Love,
Donna
For more information on this topic and many others, please visit my website, www.brilliancefactor.com
