So when we find ourselves with a broken heart that needs mending, which I am personally dealing with at this moment, I want to share with you a few things I've learned from my mentors and my girlfriends. I must tell you, I have the BEST mentors in the world and the BEST gang of girlfriends one could hope for. We're a small gang, but we're always there for each other. And wow, have they been there for me during the past few months!
Here are a few of the things I've learned:
1. FOCUS ON YOU... Do what you love. Do you like old movies? Watch movies. Have you wanted to write a book? Get started on that. You'll be surprised at how much good stuff comes to you when your heart is a bit raw. Need to de-clutter or re-decorate? Now is the perfect time for a sacrificial bond fire to eliminate everything you have that reminds you of the ASS. Please know that I do not suggest a REAL bond fire. Throw the shit into a bag and toss it into the trash - along with him/her.)
2. LET YOURSELF FEEL.. Take some time alone. Maybe a few days off work. Cough, cough. You look a little pale. Are you sick? Take some time to sit and allow yourself to experience the feelings that you have now. Get a big box of tissues. Don't fight the feelings. Feel the hurt, feel the rejection, allow yourself to have a good cry. Pushing those emotions down will only cause them to show up at another time. The way to get past the hurt is to go THROUGH the hurt. It will not be a good day, but in the end you'll feel so much better. Not 100%, but better. Burying the emotions will never be a good thing in the end. And finally - remember this: FEEL. But don't REACT. Don't lash out at the jerk. Trust me please. It will not help. I've been there.
3. CALL IN THE TROOPS... Re-kindle relationships with your girlfriends. Resist the temptation to lock yourself away alone for weeks on end. Get dressed up, go to lunch, dinner, movies, all of it. With your girlfriends. They will be there for you. Call them, text them at 2:00 am, spend time with them. When you begin to feel the urge to reach out to Mr. WRONG, STOP!!! And then call in the troops instead!
4. GET CUTE... Yes, those couple of tear filled days will require pajamas, puffy eyes, and comfort food. But after that, it's time to put on one of your cute outfits, your favorite lipstick, wash that hair and return to being the beautiful creature that we both know you are. Yes, he is most likely an unappreciative little boy, but don't let him make you walk away from your beauty. Take that POWER back into your own hands. Never let him - or anyone - make you ugly!
And speaking of ugly...
5. STAY AWAY FROM HIS PEOPLE... You will never benefit from contacting his family, friends, ex-girlfriend, ex-wives, new girlfriend. Believe me, you will want to, but take it from an experienced, heartbroken person - this is a very bad idea. Once you start down this path, contacting his people, you will walk right through the doors to crazy-town. And there is almost no recovering from that - at least in his eyes. Not that we care much about his stupid, vacant eyes. But we DO care about how we react to all of this. Let's not create more drama for ourselves. If he has friends that tell you they will be there for you and that they won't take sides, there is one word I want you to remember:
BULLSHIT!
They will not be there for you. They will listen to what you have to say, and then they will immediately call him and his other friends and tell them how pitiful you are. Choose POWERFUL over PITIFUL! EVERY. TIME.
6. BE THE BETTER PERSON... and God, don't we hate hearing this!!! Especially when we're bouncing back and forth between hurt and anger. Hurt, anger, hurt, hanger....ugh! Just trust me on this. Show up for yourself and everyone else as the classy, elegant, worthy lady that we know you are. There is no arguing with CALM CLASS. Period.
And one thing to remember, SUCCESS is the best revenge 100% of the time. If you run into him, his sister, his ex, his best friend or his mother, let them see you as the most beautiful YOU that you can be. Let them see that you EXUDE class, self-worth and style. Believe me, it will be reported back!
When ANYONE says, "Oh hi....are you ok?.....How are you doing?" HERE IS YOUR ANSWER:
"Oh my gosh, I've never been better! There is so much going on in my life right now and I'm SO excited about it... Hey, great to see you but I have to run! Someone is waiting for me! See ya!"
I suggest you memorize that sentence. Just in case! And once again, it will be reported back, I promise you!
...Not that you care what is reported back, because you have beautifully, gracefully, successfully and with class, MOVED ON.
Happy Valentine's Day my love!
YOU are my Valentine this year!
Please visit www.Brilliancefactor.com and get some more inspiration and information on how to work with me!
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!!
Donna
