Who are you relying on....or creating your own cupcake!

Hello, Cupcake!

Have you ever taken the time to think about where you are getting your sense of validation?  Support?  Worth?  Value?  

Many of us are relying on others for this sense of well being.  What???  Sad, but we have all been there.  We see it in young people all the time.  Children are almost always looking for approval from their parents or their teachers, and it's perfectly normal.

But what happens when we bring that neediness into our adult lives?  Well we all must admit that it feels good when we get that validation.  When a boss tells you you're awesome, or your boyfriend tells you you're pretty, we glow a little brighter, right?  At least for a few minutes.  

The lesson here, my cupcake, is that we must not rely on others for our self confidence and our sense of well being.  First, you don't really need it.  You know the areas of your life where you are excelling, as well as which areas need a bit of TLC.  As long as you are aware of where you could use a little growth, you are perfect, just the way you are!  Awareness is key!

Whether you call your faith the Universe, God, or Mother Nature, in the eyes of your faith, YOU ARE ALREADY SHEER PERFECTION!

According to Joel Osteen, we "shouldn't put the pressure of reinforcing our self-worth on those around us.  They've got their own issues to deal with!"

Yes it's great to receive a compliment from people we care about or look up to, but nurturing your self-esteem is really YOUR responsibility, my love!  And mine!

I know how I want to live my life and how I want to relate to others.  I know that I am living the best life I can live and that I'm being a good person to all the people and animals around me!  I am learning the things that I feel I need to learn in order to excel in my career.  I'm surrounding myself with the beautiful things that make my every day living enjoyable.  Building my own cupcake-life!

Believe me when I tell you, this is an ongoing journey full of becoming aware and learning and decision making.  Am I perfect at it?  Hell no!  BUT!  As long as I am doing these things and moving myself toward who I have chosen to become, the better I feel about myself.

This is something that requires persistence and lots of thought, but as I grow, my need for approval from others shrinks!  As that need shrinks, the easier I am to be around, because I'm really ME!  Not a version of me that is only ok if the constant positive feedback is there.

So again, I will tell you, you don't need the reassurance from everyone around you.  You need it from yourself.  And creating a life you are proud to live is the best way to get that reassurance internally - from yourself!

Yes, take those compliments with a smile and a thank you, but don't live on them!  Create a beautiful life for yourself, so those comments are just the sprinkles on your cupcake!  

The cupcake itself?  Your self esteem?...you got that!

Love, 

Donna

PS. If you need a little help or push, get in touch with me and we can work on it together!!

www.brilliancefactor.com

Time to Make a Fresh Start?

Hello Beautiful...

Have you ever heard this quote?

"Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around."  

This is a quote from Penelope Cruz in the movie Vanilla Sky.  It quote has stayed with me since the first time I heard it, years ago when that movie first came out.  

And honestly my friend, Every passing moment IS another chance to turn it all around!

If you stop to think about this for a minute, you know in your heart that it is absolutely true.  We are 100% capable of examining our lives and changing our habits and mindset any time we choose to do so.  "Not me", you say?  Well let me show you how.

Almost everything we do, every day of our lives comes from a choice we've made.  For example:

We choose to go to work.  Or not.

Choose to over eat.  Or not.

Choose to under eat.  Or not.

Choose to sleep in.  Or not.

Choose to stay up late.

Dress as though we do or do not care about how we look.

Choose to watch TV.

Surround ourselves with beautiful things.  

Surround ourselves with crap.

Choose to be happy.

Choose to do a good deed.  Or not.

Choose to over spend.

Everything we do as we move through every day is a choice.  And believe me when I tell you:  THIS IS GREAT NEWS!!!

Do you feel like you are living a life that is not quite up to what you desire?  Well, YOU get to change that!  Right now!

If your self confidence level isn't quite up to par, change it!  Dress better!  Put on some lipstick!  Get cute!  Read some news!  Learn something!  Clean something up!  Read something inspiring!  These are all things you can do immediately to improve your self confidence.  Every day, when you are getting ready to start your day, you are making these choices.  Why not make better ones?

This is how we create Beauty, Brains and Brilliance in our lives.  By making choices that lead us toward the life we desire.

Any given second, you can say, "I'm done being grumpy for today."  And find something that makes you smile or laugh.  Then practice feeling that happy feeling for the rest of the day.  Yes it takes practice, but it is so worth it!

Any given moment, you can say, "I don't want to be that person anymore." And begin to do things differently.  

Any given hour you can say. "I don't want to be the woman who over eats."  And you can decide to put off that snack for a while longer.

Any given day you can say, "I want to feel elegant from now on."  And you can begin planning the outfit and accessories and lipstick you want to wear tomorrow.

Any given week you can say, "Yes, I'm grateful for what I have, but this is not my dream job."  And quietly begin looking for something that lights you up!

Yes, these are just examples, but they are choices and decisions that you are making every day!  Good decisions or bad, whether they are on purpose decisions or subconscious decisions that you don't even realize you're making throughout your day.  You ARE making them.  

So now that the light bulb has gone on over that pretty little head of yours, don't you think it's time that you got into the Pilot's seat of your private jet and started mapping out your course, rather than living out of habit or default?  

Take the time to decide who you want to become.  Find 20 or 30 quiet, alone, uninterrupted minutes to contemplate this idea.  Once you know who and what you want to be, you can begin making daily choices that will guide you toward that place.  

In this day and age, and at our age, there is no reason for us to live an unfulfilled life!  We can be whomever, and do whatever we want to do!  So who are YOU going to be tomorrow?

Love,

Donna

PS.  Need a push to get you started?  Get these two books and you'll be well on your way!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/s/ref=is_s?k=donna+ferrante

And visit www.brilliancefactor.com

Let's work on this together!!!

1 Step to adding Beauty, Brains and Brilliance to your life. Part 3. BRILLIANCE!

1 Step to Adding Beauty, Brains and Brilliance to your life.  Part 3. Brilliance.

Do you FEEL LIKE being BRILLIANT today?  The reason I ask you this is to illustrate to you that being BRILLIANT on any given day or at any time of day, is 100% YOUR CHOICE.  

Every choice, every decision you make will create your day, and create the feelings you experience.    And those feelings will create your life!  So you must ask yourself this:  Will your thoughts create beautiful, empowering feelings?  Or will they create dull, negative, auto-pilot feelings?  And most importantly, what kind of life will those auto-pilot feelings bring you compared to the the life the empowering feelings will bring you?

Over the past 2 weeks we have discussed adding BEAUTY and BRAINS into your life, and we have found ways to do that by examining our behaviors and attitudes.  Hopefully you were able to choose something (or 10 things) that you could add to your life right away that result in BEAUTY.  And hopefully you have found several ways (or 5 ways) that you could use your beautiful BRAINS, as well!  

This week, we come to Part 3, which is where we talk about BRILLIANCE!   So let's dig in. 

The definition of BRILLIANCE is this:  "To shine brightly.  To act intelligently.  To utilize all of the facts available in order to make the best possible choices."  Does this sound like you?  If not, we have some work to do, my love!  Fun, glorious, empowering work!

In order to live your life with BRILLIANCE, there is only one step you must take.  And it is this:  TAKE ACTION!  Once you have narrowed down what it is that you want your life to look like, it is time to TAKE ACTION and make those things happen!

For example, you may have decided that you want to add BEAUTY by getting into shape!  You have used your BRAINS to decide that the best way to do that is to begin to work out.  The BRILLIANCE here is to TAKE ACTION by joining that gym, or scheduling time to begin running or walking. 

Another example, you may have decided that you want to add BEAUTY to your life by doing a better job of managing your finances.  (Been there!). You've used your BRAINS to get clear on what your expenses are and possibly even created a budget!  The BRILLIANCE here will be to stick to that budget!  Take action by scheduling a meeting with yourself once each week - or once each payday - to review your bills and expenses and spending habits to be sure you are on track.  

How about this:  You have decided to add BEAUTY to your life by paying more attention to how you look, how you present yourself each day.  You've used your BRAINS to clean out your closet, put outfits together and you've even gotten a makeup lesson!  The BRILLIANCE happens when you take action by making sure you allow yourself enough time each morning to get ready for your day!  

BRILLIANCE is all about showing up for yourself.  When you take the appropriate action to make the decisions you've made come to life, you are living brilliantly.  You are living your life on purpose.  You are designing your life and building it into what you truly desire.  

I remember a time, not too long ago, when I used my BEAUTY, BRAINS and BRILLIANCE in order to create something I truly wanted in my life.  I had made the decision to write my first book, which was a journal.  I had no idea where to start, but I was sure I wanted to do this.  So here is what I did:

BEAUTY:  I decided that creating this book was what I really wanted.  I wanted to write something and feel the sense of pride I knew I'd feel once I accomplished this!

BRAINS:  I needed to get in touch with someone I knew who had written several books.  She wasn't a close friend at the time, but I knew she'd help me.  I signed up for a class she was offering.  I invested the time and money in myself.  And boy, did I learn from her!!!

BRILLIANCE:  Once I learned what I needed to do, I took action and scheduled writing time into my planner.  I knew that if I scheduled the time, it would get done.  Then all I had to do was show up for myself at those scheduled times and the book would come to fruition.  

And it did. And was it perfect??  Absolutely not!  It was double the size I needed it to be!  As thick a book as Harry Potter!  But because I had gone through this process, I was able to go back through and rework it a little differently so it would come out to the perfect size!  

Yes.  There were days when I did not want to write, and in those days, I gave myself a break by not expecting too much progress.  I still sat down at my scheduled times and began writing.  Some of the challenging days resulted in 2 or 3 pages.  Other challenging days resulted in 50 pages.  But I SHOWED UP.  I TOOK ACTION!  And because In did that, I learned what I needed to know and I'm now working on my 6th book!

So tell me, what have you decided to do?  Have you begun to show up for yourself to begin to make it happen?  Do you need some help?  Well, I'm here for you.  

Love,

Donna

Just visit www.brilliancefactor.com or email me at thebrilliancefactor@gmail.com and We can talk about how we can work together to bring your dreams into fruition!