The Day I Got a Migraine from Rolling My Eyes!

THAT was a fun day.  It was my 9th day in a row of working.  We were having a huge event with a huge goal and each day was a marathon.  Every day required super-hero strength and energy.  And every ounce of my being was fighting back.

Yes, I try to stay healthy, eat well, drink plenty of water, enough sleep, etc.  But for this event, there wasn't time for anything like that.  It was go-go-go time.  And my body was screaming stop-stop-stop!

Then the day started.  

I got to work a bit early so I could be prepared for my day with supplies and anything else I might need.  Then, as soon as I walked into the building, our Loss Prevention Manager stopped me and asked me to read and sign a document that outlined an update to our Employee Discount program. (Eye roll #1). I've been in this business for nearly 40 years.  I get it. The discount is not to be shared with friends, blah, blah, blah.  

I tried to get out of reading it and just sign the form, but he called me on that and made me stand there, with 6 other people, reading the form and then signing the document in his presence!  (Eye roll #2).  Was he afraid that I'd sign someone else's name?  Seriously!!!

Then I went to the elevator to bring my supplies to my floor.  ELEVATOR.  BROKEN.  AGAIN.  (Eye roll #3).   So being the team player that I am, I lug all of my things up 3 flights of stairs.  Maybe I can take a quick breather when I get to my floor.  

Wait!  There is a department meeting going on and everyone sees me come in with too many bags of stuff!  Late!!!  

"Sorry I'm late, I had to sign......."  Interrupted.  Keep the meeting going.  Some middle manager is telling everyone the importance of repeating the words: "Would you like to use your **** credit card to take care of your purchase?"  (Eye roll #4)  Now memorize that.

And while we're at it, let's role play saying it to each other.  (Eye roll #5)

After my ninth day in a row, absolutely everything was driving me crazy.  The cackling of the older women talking about the state of the store.  Bursting into unnecessarily loud laughter.  I couldn't take it.  My mind, body and spirit were worn down to a nub.  (Eye roll #6)

Yes! I loved the job I had at the time.  I enjoyed everything I did from day to day.

But this was just too many days in a row. Too intense.  Too high a goal.  Not enough traffic in the store to warrant the high goal.  And NINE DAYS STRAIGHT??? (Eye roll #7)

That day, I went home with the worst headache of my life.  I felt like someone had been chasing me around all day demanding more and more from me.  When I finally was able to leave for the day, I felt as though I was crushed like a Pinot grape.

I rushed home as fast as I could that night.  I didn't eat, I drank a bit of water, washed my face and dragged myself into my bed.  Turns out I wasn't helping myself by rushing to bed the way I did.  If I had known then what I know now!  (Eye roll #8)

END OF THAT DAY.  END OF THAT EVENT (We did make our goal!).

Now.  In 2016, I choose to spend a respectable amount of time making sure I am doing well. I pamper myself when called for.  Mani/pedi, the right amount of sleep, clean, good food, and I use music to change my mood when necessary.  I also spend a great deal of time alone with my thoughts.  Doing this allows me to monitor how I am feeling.  To be aware of what is triggering my thoughts and actions.

So if I'd had that horrible day how up in my life now, I would be well equipped to manage my energy and my attitude.  Equipped to deal with my internal dialog and my external aching feet!  To manage my sweaty armpits and the dark circles under my eyes!

If this day were to show up now, I'd laugh with the Loss Prevention Manager about how seriously he's taking a most likely unenforceable document!

If this day were to read it's ugly little head now, I would remind myself that I was getting great exercise during the time the elevator was out.  I'd reward myself by taking it easy that night!

If this day were to happen again, I would be the loudest role player at the meeting, just to make everyone laugh!  I would either participate in, or walk away from the cackling ladies.  I would remind myself that they are happy ladies and I should be happy for them, rather than impatient.

I also would be smart enough to schedule a massage for a pedicure, so I could stop on my way home that day.  I'd have lots of water around at all times.  I'd make sure I got some exercise in and a good meal before flinging myself into bed.

I would remember to be grateful that I have a job I love, where I get to roll my eyes!  I'd be grateful for the nice people I am blessed to work with every day.  And finally, I'd be grateful for the beautiful life I get to live.  The beautiful place where I get to live!

And then finally, I'd be grateful for LeMetier de Beaute Peau Vierge Corrector/Concealer in Shade 0 because it covers all the ugly spots!  I'd hold my head high, know that I work very hard, and I'd take pride in my accomplishments.  Even the sweaty, difficult ones.

So GO BE GRATEFUL for every second of your sweaty, sticky, cackling, frustrating life. And be grateful that you get to manage those days into exactly what you want them to look like.  Be grateful that life is wonderful!!!

Love,
Donna

And if you'd like some additional inspiration, visit my Website at:

www.BrillianceFactor.com

It is here that you will learn how you can work with me and create the life of your dreams, with no shame, guilt or EYE ROLLING MIGRAINES!!!

Shame: A total waste of time!

If you are like me - and most women - there are things in your past that you would rather not tell the whole world about.  Like that guy, or those guys from college - or that girl!  The bad financial decision you made when you were younger.  That impulsive choice you made that left you alone and alienated from your people.  How badly you treated your body.  How badly you treated others.

Now don't get me wrong, I am all about keeping your own secrets, not airing your dirty laundry, not over sharing everything that you've ever done in your past.  There are things that you should absolutely keep to yourself.  And we as women love a little secret, don't we?  So once again, don't think for a minute that I'm suggesting you hold an intervention for yourself, invite everyone you know and spill your guts.  Absolutely not!  What I am suggesting though, is that you find a way to look at your past, accept what has happened, learn the lesson and MOVE ON FROM IT!  

Let's examine my suggestions for getting past any guilt and shame you may be feeling about how you've lived your life.  

1.  Look at your past.  One of the best ways to get past any shame you are feeling is to take the time to think about the situation.  Where was your heart?  What did your life look like at that time?  How were you feeling?  How was your confidence level back then?  

You must hear me on this.  There was and is NOTHING wrong with you.  Yes, you made a questionable decision.  Big freaking deal!  You made a mistake.  Who doesn't make mistakes?  You did something stupid?  Welcome to the big girls club!  

2.  Accept what happened!  Ok.  As I said, you made a questionable choice.  You made a questionable choice, and you made a questionable choice.  EVERYONE DOES THAT!  You must accept the fact that at that moment, you weren't perfect - like you are now!  Tell yourself this, "Yea, I did that.  It's just what I did.  I did the best I could at the time."  And remember, MANY, MANY, MANY OTHER PEOPLE HAVE DONE THE SAME THING!  No big deal!  

3.  Learn the lesson.  Ask yourself what the hell was going on?  You made a decision.  A bad one.  Why did you make that decision?  Try to remember all of the circumstances.  What did you learn?  Did you realize it was a mistake right away?  If not, what made you think it was a mistake?  Was it REALLY a mistake, or do you just tell yourself it was a mistake.  What was the lesson you learned?  Dig deep for this.   Spend some time thinking about it.  

Was it a mistake that you made again and again?  Did you make the mistake only one time because you realized what you were doing?  

Did you learn to respect yourself?  Did you learn that despite how it felt at the time, you kept on living?  Bravo!  Did you learn to be a bit less impulsive?  To think through consequences before acting in the future?  Do you have advice inside you that you'd like to share with someone who is in the same situation you were in?  These lessons are extremely important.  They will help you re-write your story, so you can love your life and walk away from any quilt or shame that you've been hiding.

4.  Move on, baby!  Once you begin to understand why you made the questionable decisions you've made as well as the lessons you've learned, you can move on.  You'll be able to tell your story - if you choose to do so - with a sense of calm acceptance.  

Try to re-tell your story to yourself.  This may take some practice.  When you are writing, keep in mind who you were at the time, what the circumstances were in your life at the time, and what lessons you learned from it.  Then once you know the story you choose to tell, and if you choose to do so, find a close friend who you can share your story with.  I recommend doing this at least once, just to see how it feels.  

While you are working through this, you must internalize this:  YOU DID THE BEST YOU COULD DO AT THE TIME WITH THE TOOLS YOU HAD TO WORK WITH.  YOU LEARNED A LESSON  AND NO ONE WILL EVER ACCUSE YOU OF NOT LIVING  AN INTERESTING LIFE!!!

My love, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of.  Please believe me.  Share it, or keep it all to yourself.  Regardless of what you choose to do with the information, there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR YOU TO BE ASHAMED OF YOUR PAST.  

Your past has brought you to where you are right now.  Are there improvements that can be made in your life now?  Fine! Make them!  Are you finally where you want to be?  Remember that one tiny little change in the path you have taken, and you wouldn't be where you are now.  

So please, if you have any shame or regret from your past, follow my steps to get yourself past those feelings.  Who knows how many other women need to learn from you!!!

Love,

Donna

PS.  For more inspiration or help, please visit my www.brilliancefactor.com

Or email me at Donna.tbf@gmail.com.  I would love to hear from you!

Five Things I Learned In France!

Every time I go to France, or any other country, I come home amazed at what I've learned. This time, however, I saw 5 light bulbs go on over my head.  5 shimmering, glimmering disco ball light bulbs!  I'm super excited to share these with you for a couple of reasons.  

First, I want to inspire you to travel.  Get out of your comfort zone, wherever that may be. If you've never left your state, your city, your community, hopefully this will give you a reason to set out on a journey of your own. 

Second, I want to inspire you to recognize how grand and beautiful our world really is. Truly, there is so much to see and to experience.  A travel journey will teach you something every single day.  To realize that we aren't alone on this planet, and to form connections with people who are nothing like us can be life changing!  I highly recommend giving it a try.

Here are the 5 things I've learned from my recent trip to France:

1.  I need to slow my brain down!  Whoa girl, back it down a notch!

Everywhere in Paris, you see people taking long breakfasts and lunches.  You see them sitting at cafe's enjoying their 3rd cafe latte and never once looking at their watches.  So why are we always in such a hurry?  Is it that we're over scheduling ourselves?  Are we sleeping too late in the mornings?  Are we taking too long to get where we want to go?  

Actually, I learned that it is none of those things.  The French have places to be just as we do.  The difference is all in your mind!  We don't necessarily need to move more slowly. What we need to do is stop being so frantic!  The constant running around is crazy making!

Get yourself where you need to go, but get there gracefully.  Walk, don't run.  Saunter, don't sprint.  Plan your activities so that you have time to get where you need to go without the crazy rush!  When you do this, you'll arrive much more polished, poised and confident.  

There is no need to scramble, but there is a need to do a little planning.  Plan for calm. Slow down your mind and enjoy where you're going!  Enjoy the process of getting there.

2.  It only take one or two little steps to look like a supermodel.

The entire time I was in France, I was looking for the runway models on the streets.  Guess what?  They are there, but you can't even tell!  They don't wear Oscar dresses to lunch. They don't wear all of their diamonds to the park!  Their hair isn't perfect every minute of every day!

How do they look so amazing?  One word:  ACCESSORIZE.  Keep your daily wardrobe clean, stylish, but basic.  The fabulosity is in the accessories.  The beautiful pumps or boots.  The Hermes - or Hermes looking - scarf.  The great handbag!  These stylish items paired with your wardrobe of basics, will turn you into the rock star you desire to be! Dress French, baby!

3.  Every picture tells a story!  

In France, people surround themselves with what they have available to them.  Grandma's side table, Mom's linen napkins.  Auntie's pearl earrings.  A framed picture they took while on vacation with their friends or family.  The lovely people I met had beautiful, understated things in their homes and businesses.  When I asked about various items, every one of them had a story behind it and a reason for them to keep it.  

Here in the US, we may not have many family heirlooms, but we can still live this interesting life.  Be sure the items that you purchase for yourself and your home are things that have meaning to you.  If someone were to ask you why you chose something, be sure there is a good reason for having it!  Maybe it reminds you of your favorite relative, or reminds you that you love to travel!  Be sure you are curating your surroundings and not merely accumulating things without thinking it through.

When every item has a story, things become - and YOU become - much more interesting!

4.  People in France do not hate Americans!

And what a relief this was to learn!  Yes, I knew we weren't hated in Paris, but this time, I met some of the friendliest, happiest and most generous people in other areas of France.  I met a beautiful woman who explained the meaning of the American Cemetery in Normandy.  I lovely tour guide spent time with me alone, recommending restaurants to try.  Another sweet girl let her 5 year old play patty cake with me at Mt. St. Michel.  Nice people everywhere!

It all boils down to the Golden Rule.  Do unto others, baby.  Approach others with a friendly smile and 99% of the time you'll get that friendliness and the smile back.  Learn a word or two of the local language and try it on for size!  And above all, don't take yourself too seriously!  Laugh at yourself!  We are not perfect and we must accept that and have a good laugh!!!

We Americans tend to become very impatient when we don't understand something in the first five seconds!  We are not in a microwave!  Please trust me when I say the rest of the world isn't in one either!  Calm down!  Don't get frustrated!  And if you get angry, don't let it show!  People are nice to those who are nice back!!!

The French do not hate Americans!  They hate obnoxious people!  Don't you???

5.  Having it all is relative.

This trip to France taught me that I am very blessed with what I have in my life.  I saw people living in tiny shacks along the train route.  I saw a woman with tattered clothing laughing and playing with her children in the Tuileries in Paris.  I saw a man sitting on a park bench in Montmartre with a woman tear his sandwich in half to share it with her.  I saw an artist in Montmartre walk over to me as I was considering buying a small piece of artwork from a different artist, and join the conversation.  This helped the OTHER artist get the sale.

As I write this with appreciative, teary eyes, I realize that I have been blessed with SO much abundance. I have beautiful friends who are always there for me.  I live in a beautiful building that represents exactly how I want to live.  I drive a safe, respectable car.  In addition to writing to you, I have a job that I go to each day that pays me well and surrounds me with beauty and luxury.  I have wonderful mentors who do not judge me, but encourage me to move forward with my dreams.  I have parents and brothers who love me. I have been able to travel to many parts of the world and experience different cultures.

Yes, my beautiful friend.  I am truly blessed.  I have what I need.  Yes, there are struggles from time to time - just like everyone has.  Sometimes financially oriented, sometimes relationship oriented, sometimes trying my patience.

However, the bottom line is this:  I have all that I need.  And so much more.  I have learned to appreciate little things and I have learned to STOP.  Stop and take a moment to express my gratitude.  Gratitude for YOU, my readers, and for everything else that I have in my life.
With love,
Donna

For more information, please visit www.BrillianceFactor.com  where you'll get more inspiration, and learn how you and I can work together.