How to Find JOY EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!

Hello gorgeous!

I'm super excited to share this post with you this week!  Finding JOY is my favorite thing to do!!! The other day I had a friend of mine come to my studio to help me decorate it - turns out decorating is NOT my forte!  I admit it freely!

As part of our evening, we had a little appetizer-esque dinner with some great wine.  I bought some really fresh French bread and some artisanal cheeses, some artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, and things like that.  Silly me, I forgot to buy any sort of meat, but that's life, right?  We made the best of it.  When we sat down to eat and I pulled out the Truffle Oil to dip the bread into, she said, "Wow, you really know how to take care of yourself."  I took that as a huge compliment!  I was thrilled to hear those unexpected words!

When I stop to think about it, I guess I do take really good, nurturing, loving care of myself.  Why not?  Her compliment stayed with me for the rest of the evening, and when she left, I gave myself a few minutes to think about it.  "Wow, you really know how to take care of yourself."  Let's internalize that thought for a few minutes.  Should I feel guilty because during the XX years I've been on this earth, I have learned what I like and what I don't like?  I considered it, and thought HELL NO! And everything I served came from Kroger.  Not too fancy, right?

It's very important that we learn to find joy in the every day things that we do.   A friend of mine told me that it's the many small things we do that makes our life happy.  Not the one or two big happy things that happen to us.  If we make the journey from one small happiness to the next, we can live our lives as pretty darn happy people!  That makes total sense to me!  Let's take a look at any given day - a typical work day.  Stay with me....

We wake up at the appropriate time in the morning in order to give ourselves time to get ready for our day.

Q:  What does your alarm sound like?  Does it blast you out of bed like a hurricane?  Or do you wake up gently, with an alarm sound or song that makes you happy?
A:  Happiness #1.  You can wake up happy starting tomorrow morning!  Change that alarm sound now!

Next, let's jump into the shower.  This is a wonderful place to feel happy.

Q:  Are you using Dial Soap all over your body or are you using a decadent, luxurious bath gel with a wonderful natural sponge to wash your beautiful body?
A:  Happiness #2.  Throw out that nasty bar of soap and get yourself something that has the perfect scent or at least the perfect luxurious texture.   Take a few seconds to stand under the water and inhale the beautiful scent and feel the water!  Don't rush.  Enjoy this!  And let me tell you, there is nothing like a real, natural sponge to wash with.  Why not make this time fabulous?  You ARE worth it!

Now, let's talk about your morning coffee or tea.  This is another area where we have an opportunity to kick your happiness level up a notch or two.

Q:  Are you using the cheapest coffee or tea you can find?  Why is that?  Are you taking time to sit for a few minutes, journal, reflect, meditate, pray or just look at the view outside your window?
A:  Happiness #3.  This is easy.  ALWAYS buy the coffee that you love.  Get the flavor you like, even the most expensive coffees in the world are not THAT expensive!  Buy the GOOD tea.  Try the loose tea!  Get a beautiful strainer and cup!  If you happen to have a Teavana store near you, you can custom-blend your tea flavors!  WHY NOT??? Give yourself a few extra minutes in the morning and the permission to sit and really savor your coffee or tea.  Try not to run out the door beverage in hand. Even if it's just 5 minutes to sit and look outside, just give yourself that gift, and let your mind wander a bit.  This extra few minutes will help you get off to a beautiful start in the morning.

Side note:  Make your bed.  Every day.  No matter what!  There is nothing as sweet as getting into a pretty, made up bed at night when you're ready to go to sleep!  AND...it will give you yet another happiness for the day - but we'll count that one later!  It's still early!

So now, we've had our morning beverage of choice.  Maybe you loved it so much that you get another cup to take with you as you get ready to start your day.   Good for you!

Is there music playing?  No?  Why not?  Music can create a wonderful mood or drastically change a bad one!

Q: Do you know what kind of music you like?  If you don't, I highly suggest you spend a little time with YOU and figure it out!  My music changes all the time.  I'm planning a trip to France soon, so I've been listening to French music in the morning because it makes me so happy and excited about my trip!
A:  Happiness #4.  Get a CD or a radio station that has the music you love and play it while you are getting ready for work.  This is another excellent way to feel a little more joy!

What is that you're putting on your face, young lady?

Q:  Are you using the best skin care products that you can afford?  It doesn't have to be the most expensive product out there, but it has to be the best for YOU.
A:  Happiness #5.  Your skin care products should have a luxurious look and feel.  They should make you feel like you are the Queen of your world - which you are, by the way!  And it should be in a pretty container that you are HAPPY to leave out on your counter!  Smell the product!  Take a moment to massage it into your skin.  Be grateful for this luxury!

Are you carrying a handbag that you feel good about?

Q:  Ask anyone whom you admire.  Their handbag is important to them.  It's both functional AND beautiful.  There are no torn pockets, or weird strings hanging from it.
A:  Happiness #6.  It doesn't have to be expensive.  It just has to be beautiful and in great shape.  You should be proud to put it up on the counter at Neiman Marcus or Target and take your wallet out! You loved your bag when you chose it!  Take a few seconds to look at it.  Feel the texture.  Find joy in this little piece of fabulosity!

Are you happy at work?  This is extremely important!

Q:  It is a known fact that the energy we put out there is exactly what we attract back into our lives!  If you are crabby and unhappy at work, you will attract more crabbiness and unhappiness.  We BOTH know that's not what you want. You will never find what you really want and love until you learn to love where you are.
A:  Happiness #7.  Find ways to be happy at work.  You might have to dig deep for them!  If you don't like the tasks, find ways to enjoy the people.  If you don't like the people, understand that when you see something you don't like in someone else, it's generally a reflection of one of YOUR personal traits.  OUCH!!!   Relax.  Do your best to find the humor in all of it, and trust me, you'll feel happier! If you learn to be happy where you are, you'll begin to attract exactly what you want!

Now that your work day is over, what's next?  Are you meeting friends for a drink or dinner?  Are you going home to hibernate and snuggle on the sofa with your partner, or your dog or cat?  Maybe your dog IS your partner.  Mine is!  Nothing wrong with that at all.

Q:  Are you happy in your home?  Do you feel like you've arrived at your nest when you walk through the door?  Remember this:  Your home is your sanctuary.  Whether it is a large house or a tiny studio apartment, It is YOUR responsibility to create that feeling for yourself.
A:  Happiness #8.  Make your place exactly what you want it to be.  That doesn't mean buying all new furniture and accessories.  It means creating comfort with what you have.  Do some decluttering. Move some furniture around.  Light a candle or two, or if you prefer get some of those flameless candles that have timers!  They create beautiful ambiance and you can get them at the dollar store! And don't forget the music - your mood is your choice.  Keep this in mind and create the mood you want!

Do you feel beautiful in your lounge-wear for the evening?

Q:  What are you lounging around in?  Are you wearing a sweatshirt from high school?  Are you wearing old Victoria's Secret pajama pants that say PINK on the butt?  Are they old, faded, stringy at the hem?  Oh, my love...
A:  Happiness #9.  Head on over to your local Target or retailer of choice.  You can get a beautiful set of pajamas that are perfect for adults!  Something soft, snuggly while being pretty at the same time! Go ahead and get a new pair of slippers while you're at it.  Throw away the old stuff.  Those juniors pajamas do NOT create joy or elegance and you deserve better!

Now that you've used the best skin care you can afford and feel like you've taken fabulous care of your skin after a long day, it's time for bed.

Q:  Did you make your bed this morning?  You should do this every day.  No matter what.  No matter what.  No matter what.  If you are at home right now and you haven't made your bed yet, RUN and do it now!!!
A:  Happiness #10.  Getting in to a bed that has been made is like a fresh start.  It's such an elegant feeling to slip your beautifully cared for body into the sheets of a made up bed.  You may not have a maid - yet - but, if you did, she would make your bed for you every day.  In the mean time, you can do it in 5 minutes or less, I bet!

So you see, my love, all of the small happinesses we create for ourselves give us back a pretty darn happy life if we allow it and pay attention!   Luxuriate in it!  Revel in it!  Take your time and enjoy every second of that coffee you love, that amazing skin care routine, those decadent and elegant candles, that beautiful, mood altering music that makes you feel amazing!

If you follow some of these examples of how to find and recognize joy and happiness every day, and continue to look for other ways that you can add happiness, you'll find that you have so much more to be happy about than you ever realized!  And the more happiness you feel, the more happiness you attract!   Happy girl!

Now.  Leave me a comment below and let me know how YOU plan to incorporate some happy moments into your beautiful, luxurious, decadent world!

With love and brilliance!
Donna

Take a few minutes to visit www.brilliancefactor.com   where you'll find even more inspiration!
Also, you'll learn how you can work with ME!  Hope to see you there!!

The Word of the Year! (And thank you Tonya Leigh!)

Hello my beautiful friends!

Have you ever chosen a "Word of the Year" to represent your life, or more importantly, what you want your life to look like for the coming year?  I've done this for several years now, and I have just had my love for this process reignited by Tonya Leigh from The French Kiss Life.  

I have always chosen words such as "brilliance" or "excitement" or "sparkle" because those types of words keep me excited about my life,  my progress and my goals.  But this year, I found it more difficult.  I wanted something different.  Something better.  Something more motivating!  It's almost February, and I usually choose this word on New Year's Day!  What is going on with my brain this year?!

I have given so much thought to what my word of the year should be for 2016.  Since I have done this in the past, it should be easy, right?  But for whatever reason, this year the choice has eluded me for the entire month of January!

Then one day after listening to Tonya, I looked around my beautiful flat in Dallas, and my word finally came to me like a sudden POP!  My word of the year is:  PARIS!

Yep.  PARIS!

To me, Paris represents learning how to slow down, to breathe, to make gentle, well thought out decisions and spend time discovering who I am, as well as who I am choosing to become.  Tonya calls it the next evolution of "you."  Well, let me tell you, I am super excited about the next evolution of ME - and I hope you are excited about the next evolution of YOU as well!

Let me explain why "PARIS" works for me.  In Paris, people really do slow down.  They'll sit for what seems like hours at a cafe watching life, people, and the world go by.  They recognize the importance of self-care.  They take the time they need to reflect and contemplate their own lives and to enjoy all that they have - even if what they have is very little.  

For my next evolution, life isn't going to be about accumulating anything other than beautiful feelings and memories and joy.  I believe PARIS is the perfect representation of the life I wish to create for myself.  I firmly believe "PARIS" will keep me going on my path!

Have YOU chosen a "Word of the Year" for yourself?  What word will inspire you to move forward and stay focused on your goals and your dream life?  Do you see how having an anchor word that suits YOUR next evolution could help keep you focused on bringing your dreams and desires into fruition?

I hope you will give this some thought.  You will need to choose a word that wakes up the butterflies in your tummy!  A word that makes you want to jump out of bed in the morning and get your party started!  

But consider this as well:  Don't close yourself in by choosing a word that sounds like it comes straight out of a self-help book!  "Motivation" Ugh.  "Power"  Dull.  "Energy" Snore.  

Find something that SCREAMS EXCITEMENT TO YOU!!!  PARIS screams excitement to me! What word is SCREAMING - not whispering - into your ear?  "CHANEL?"  "HERMES?" "NEIMAN MARCUS?"  "MERCEDES BENZ?'  "INDIA?"  "FREEDOM?"  "TRAVEL?"  

Remember that your word of the year is not about something you want to buy or own.  It's about representing the lifestyle that YOU want to LIVE!  A way of being that YOU choose to create for yourself!  The YOU that you always dream of becoming!

Let 2016 be YOUR year!  The YEAR of The Ultimate You!  Search for your word of the year, and let me know what it is in the comments below!

Or better yet, head over to www.brilliancefactor.com and get some inspiration there if you need it! Contact me directly if you'd like!  I would LOVE to hear from you!  

My email address is:  thebrilliancefactor@gmail.com

Remember...

2016.....IS.....YOUR.....YEAR!!!

With love and blinding brilliance!

Donna

Such good weekly Brilliance, I made it a BLOG post! Please read...

I didn't start out writing this to you....

Hello my love... This morning, when I sat down to write  this week's post, the subject I was going to write about was completely different from what you're receiving.  However, today, I did something I usually don't do before writing to you.  I checked my Facebook feed.  I choose not to do that before writing, because it seems to put me into a reactive mode, rather than a creative one.  But something struck me today.   I saw a post from a very close friend of mine, who did no more than share something she thought was nice.  But it struck me like a bolt of lightening.  It was a YouTube post of an X-Factor show from back in September 2015.  A gentleman was the very last person auditioning to be on the show.  I'm sure the judges were worn out from all the listening and judging of the talented and not-so-talented.  Over 200,000 individuals auditioned for the show, although Simon Cowell and crew only see the last and most qualified ones, regardless, I'm sure the number of people they listened to this day was substantial.   One young gentleman named Josh was auditioning on the video that my friend shared.  He was the last person to audition for the evening, and God knows how long he'd been waiting in the wings for his opportunity to WOW the judges.  Can you imagine the flood of emotions that would come to you during this long period of time? Excitement, confidence, fear, lack of confidence, hopefulness, hopelessness, all jumping back and forth as you wait and wait and wait.  I honestly don't know if I could withstand the stress involved.   But Josh waited for his turn.  With humility and grace, he waited with his mother.  He chose to sing "Jealous" by Labyrinth.  For him, this song represented the jealousy he felt when his best friend passed away.  He was jealous that his best friend is in heaven and Josh is not. Jealous that his best friend no longer feels pain, while Josh does feel pain. Jealous that his best friend moved on with out him.   When Josh finished speaking onstage with Simon and prepared himself to sing, there was about a 10 second delay.  It took him 10 seconds to gather his emotions.  10 seconds to breathe and prepare himself for what could potentially be the defining moment of his life. Josh was a car mechanic in England and this was his shot at the big time.  Internalize THAT for a minute.  One big chance for you to make or break, and it's all in your hands.  Or in Josh's case, your voice. The song begins with Josh's voice.  Spot on that first note so when the music began he was pitch perfect.  Excellent job, Josh.  (I'm no Simon, but to impress a music snob like me, is quite the big deal) Then he continued.  Josh was actually NOT the best singer I've heard, male or female.  Not even close.  However, he has a whispery quality to his voice that I found intriguing.  Some of his notes were a bit off key.  Some of his enunciation was tough to make out.  We all know who Simon Cowell is, and usually, that's enough to make him stop someone dead in their tracks - but not this time. Josh's presentation of this song was completely captivating.  His deep emotion showed through.  His passion and heartbreak connected with the passion and heartbreak of every person present.  Studio audience and judges alike.  The cameras showed people in tears everywhere. And of course I was in tears, just watching the YouTube video.  How did the guy who was "not the best singer in the world" captivate everyone the way he did?  Well, the same way YOU can, my love.  By not holding back your passion and your emotion. You see, we all try so hard to "control" our emotions.  To not "feel" so much that we are on the edge of losing control.  We try to "manage" ourselves so closely and so tightly, so as not to give others' the opportunity to judge us.  Most of us fear that being judged is the worst thing that can happen to us.  What if someone doesn't like us?  Our talents?  Our gifts?  Our Metier? Can I break your heart for a moment?  We are all being judged whether we want to believe it or not.  The question we all must ask ourselves is this:    Do we want to be judged around how well we control ourselves, or do we want to be judged around our passion, emotion, commitment and dedication?  That is a big question, and one that I plan to spend a great deal of time contemplating.  I suggest you do the same!   Open up and display your passion!  Bring out your love!  Bring out your dedication to your passion!  Let your joy, devotion and passion for your life show, right now, to everyone!  Be an inspiration to others! It's perfectly OK to be judged, and who cares anyway!  The only judgement that matters is the judgement you place on yourself.  Are you living ALL OUT?  Are you giving this one, precious, beautiful life we have been given 100% of what you have?  Let me tell you in no uncertain terms.  THAT is the way you should be living your life. That's the way to do it.  That's what I want my life to look like.  I don't have to be perfect.  I just have to be 100%, authentically, unabashedly, unapologetically ME!   Don't you? I would love to know what you think about this post.  Please comment below! With Brilliant Love and Passion, Donna www.brilliancefactor.com feel free to email me at:  thebrilliancefactor@gmail.com